- James tests the Jaguar XF.
- The boys compare the BMW M3 Coupe, Audi RS4, Mercedes-Benz C63 AMG on a private racetrack in Spain.
- Top Gear Awards 2007.
- Star in a Reasonably Priced Car: David Tennant.
Review: May reviews the new Jaguar XF. He praises the engines, the modernness, the Ian Callum design and the interior design. However, he feels that the suspension of the SV8 he drives is a little stiff.
News: Alfa Romeo 8C Competizione and Koenigsegg CCXR. James May is Heat magazine’s weird celebrity crush of the year, and Clarkson reveals that Hammond had won an award for the best celebrity hair cut of the year while James May had been voted as the worst. They also reveal car related Christmas “gift ideas”, such as a “travel rabbit”, a carbon-fibre shoehorn, a Ferrari branded sledge, a wobbly headed model of the former president of Nissan USA Yutaka Katayama, Lamborghini Christmas tree baubles, a £1500 Bugatti aftershave and carbon fibre carrying case, and a Tee-shirt featuring Nissan Z cars. The co-presenters proceed to destroy majority of the gifts “in the spirit of Christmas”.
Main Review: Clarkson, May and Hammond take three cars to the Ascari Race Resort in Ronda, Spain: the new BMW M3, Mercedes-Benz C63 AMG and The Audi RS4. Hammond praises the M3 for its excellent drive and its “spectacular tailslides”. Clarkson praises the Mercedes for its “lunacy” and how it is the most powerful with its 6.2 litre 450 bhp (340 kW) engine, calling it an “axe murderer with headlights” due to flaws with the traction control. May brings the Audi RS4 which he calls a very good car due to its subtlety and all-wheel drive system. Clarkson’s Mercedes-Benz, which has the biggest legroom and boot, wins in a drag race, prompting May to start measuring parts of his Audi to see where it beats the Mercedes-Benz. Hammond set up a Powerpoint presentation which only proves that Clarkson’s car has the best engine.
The Stig sets a time of 2:15.16 in his “hire car”, Emerson Fittipaldi’s 1972 F1 world championship winning Lotus 72 before testing the other cars. The BMW M3 was the fastest of the three with 2:38.9, the Mercedes-Benz a 2:43.5 and the Audi a 2:43.9. When The Stig claimed the handling of the Mercedes-Benz was too “wayward and uncontrollable”, Clarkson claims the Stig was not trying hard enough and says he can hit an apple placed on the apex of a corner at full speed. Clarkson fails repeatedly; The Stig then hits it first time in the M3 forcing Clarkson to eat the splattered fruit. Clarkson then brings a “cock-o-meter” to show how much of a cock (idiot) an M3 driver looks. Unfortunately, the meter was not built to withstand cars such as the M3 and so was broken when it attempted to analyse it. In the end, when driving each other’s cars, the Audi is described by Hammond as a “very nice place to be”, and how the 4WD makes sense. The Mercedes-Benz is described as “chinsy” by May, but he likes the engine. Clarkson then admits the BMW is very good and that Hammond was talking sense. In the end all three agreed that the BMW M3 was the best, with Clarkson saying the other cars are just copies, as good as they are. However, Clarkson ends by claiming that he could not ignore the insanity of the Mercedes-Benz and would still have it himself.
Star in a Reasonably Priced Car: Doctor Who star David Tennant posted a time of 1.48.8 and complains about being half a second behind Billie Piper as she cut the Hammerhead corner on the track. Clarkson defended keeping her time as Billie was wearing a see-through shirt the day she was interviewed. A parody of this segment was made where Jeremy Clarkson was commenting on Tennant driving the TARDIS.
2007 Top Gear Awards:
Lifetime Achievement Award – Traffic “Wombles” (officers) from the Highways Agency for blocking motorways after minor accidents.
Ugliest Car – Mini Clubman
Worst Car – G-Wiz
Worst Dressed Presenter on Top Gear – Jeremy Clarkson’s drysuit on the British Leyland cars film (Episode 7)
Best Noise – Richard Hammond when Oliver sank (from Episode 4). Oliver was revealed to be in the studio.
Best Driver – Simon Cowell
Car of The Year 2007 – After much debate and indecision, either the Ford Mondeo or the Subaru Legacy Outback.
Challenge: Richard tries to make the G-Wiz into a remote controlled car. In the end after a race with the Stig, Hammond blows up the G-Wiz using his model radio controlled car.
“Some say that as we speak he is actually relaxing in the resort’s pool, and he is actually.”
Star in a Reasonably Priced Car