- Jeremy drives the Nissan Cube.
- James road tests a rebuilt Jaguar XJS.
- Richard tests the Cadillac CTS.
- Richard finds out if you can run a car on poo.
- Jeremy power tests the Clio Renault Sport 182.
- Star in a Reasonably Priced Car: Sir Terry Wogan.
Review: Clarkson reviews the most popular car in Japan, the Nissan Cube, and generally makes fun of its styling, poor performance and handling. He finds it to be a good “tool” in that it is very spacious and practical for the money, but says that “it’s got the worst automatic gearbox EVER in the whole world” which, coupled with weak power and weird, emotionless and asymmetrical styling, make it unworthy of importing.
Review: May drives a Jaguar XJS modernised by Knowles-Wilkins Engineering that, freed of a multitude of low-grade parts, actually works as a coherent and enjoyable sports tourer, unlike the poorly built originals.
Review: Hammond looks at the Cadillac CTS, which is not available in Britain. He tests it on some winding roads, referring to “corners: an American car’s natural enemy”. The results are favourable (as it can now, literally, “drive you around the bend” as opposed to the previous more figurative situation) but Clarkson disagrees, saying simply, “Cadillacs are for pimps and pensioners.”
Okay No Way: Hammond and Clarkson introduce a new feature. There are two dustbins – a red one marked with No Way and a green one marked with Okay. Hammond and Clarkson show pictures of cars that are not available in the UK. Cars that the two think should come to Britain go in Okay and cars that the two do not want in Britain go in No Way.
Hammond thinks that the Pontiac Solstice should come to Britain, but Clarkson puts it in No Way. Jeremy puts the Pontiac Aztek in No Way within three seconds. Richard puts the Hummer H2 in Okay. Richard thinks that the Ford Mustang should go in Okay, but Jeremy puts it in no way. Once again, Richard thinks that the Chevrolet SSR is Okay, but Jeremy puts it in No Way, saying that it (the SSR) is just a purple convertible pick-up truck. Richard puts the Lancia Thesis in No Way, and finally, Richard puts the Renault Logan in Okay, saying that it is a car – just a car – no stereo, electric windows, anything like that.
Main review: Clarkson reviews the Renault Clio 182. He likes it even though he considers it unrefined, cheap and unsafe. They conclude that it is like a puppy dog – just plain fun, despite having no manners. It scores a 1.33.8.
Challenge: Hammond investigates: “Could you run your car on poo?” (or more accurately, LPG made from faecal biomass, with human and bovine waste challenging commercial fossil-fuel LPG). The answer is yes, but the savings are not worth it – even after considering the money also to be made from milking the cows.
Star in a Reasonably Priced Car: Terry Wogan sets a very slow time of 2:03.4 (credited as 2.04), only beating Richard Whitely.
Stig Power Laps
Clio Renault Sport 182
Star in a Reasonably Priced Car
Sir Terry Wogan