Top Gear Stig Quotes

Sean McKellar

The only complete and up-to-date list of Stig quotes on the Internet, listed in the order of which they appeared. Each one is linked to the episode in which it was said.

The Stig[06×01] – “Some say he never blinks, and that he roams around the woods at night foraging for wolves. All we know is he’s called the Stig.”

[06×02] – “Some say he’s wanted by the CIA and that he sleeps upside down like a Bat. All we know is he’s called the Stig.”

[06×03] – “Some say that he appears on high value stamps in Sweden, and that he can catch fish with his tongue. All we know is he’s called the Stig.”

[06×04] – “Some say he is illegal in 17 US states, and he blinks this way [sideways]. All we know is he’s called the Stig.”

[06×05] – “Some say that his breath smells of magnesium, and that he’s scared of bells. All we know is he’s called the Stig.”

[06×06] – “Some say he naturally faces magnetic north, and that all his legs are hydraulic. All we know is he’s called the Stig.”

[06×07] – “Some say that he lives in a tree, and that his sweat can be used to clean precious metals. All we know is he’s called the Stig.”

[06×08] – “Some say that his heart ticks like a watch, and that he’s confused by stairs. All we know is he’s called the Stig.”

[06×09] – “Some say that his voice can only be heard by cats, and that he has two sets of knees. All we know is he’s called the Stig.”

[06×11] – “Some say that he’s terrified of ducks, and that there’s an airport in Russia named after him. All we know is he’s called the Stig.”

[07×01] – “Some say his skin has the texture of a dolphin’s, and that wherever you are in the world, if you turn your radio to 88.4 you can actually hear his thoughts. All we know is he’s called the Stig.”

[07×02] – “Some say that he has no understanding of clouds, and that his ear wax tastes like Turkish Delight. All we know is he’s called the Stig.”

[07×03] – “Some say that his politics are terrifying, and that he once punched a horse to the ground. All we know is he’s called the Stig.”

[07×04] – “Some say that his tears are adhesive, and that if he caught fire he’d burn for 1000 days. All we know is he’s called the Stig.”

[07×05] – “Some say he can swim 7 lengths underwater, and he has webbed buttocks. All we know is he’s called the Stig.”

[07×06] – “Some say that his heart is in upside down, and that his teeth glow in the dark. All we know is he’s called the Stig.”

[08×01] – “Some say that his ears aren’t exactly where you’d expect them to be, and that once, preposterously, he had an affair with John Prescott. All we know is he’s called the Stig.”

[08×02] – “Some say he has a digital face, and that if he felt like it he could fire Alan Sugar. All we know is he’s called the Stig.”

[08×03] – “Some say that his genitals are on upside down, and that if he could be bothered he could crack the da vinci code in 43 seconds. All we know is he’s called the Stig.”

[08×04] – “Some say his ears have a paisley lining, and that he’s been banned from the Chelsea Flower Show. All we know is he’s called the Stig.”

[08×05] – “Some say that the outline of his left nipple is exactly the same shape as the Nurburgring, and if you give him a really important job to do, he’ll skive off and play croquet. All we know is he’s called the Stig.”

[08×06] – “Now some say he invented Branston Pickle, and that if you insult his mother, he will head-butt you in the chest. All we know is he’s called the Stig.”

[08×07] – “Some say that on really warm days he sheds his skin like a snake, and that for some reason he’s allergic to the Dutch. All we know is he’s called the Stig.”

[08×08] – “Some say that his first name really is “The”, and that if he went on Celebrity Love Island they’d all be pregnant, including the camera men. All we know is he’s called the Stig.”

[09×01] – “Some say he once threw a microwave oven at a tramp, and that long before anyone else he realised that Jade Goody was a racist pig-faced waste of blood and organs. All we know is he’s called the Stig.”

[09×02] – “Some say that he once had a vicious knife fight with Anthea Turner, and that he is in no way implicated in the Cash for Honours scandal. All we know is he’s called Lord Stig.”

[09×03] – “Some say that he’s a CIA experiment that went wrong, and that he only eats cheese. All we know is he’s not the Stig, but he is the Stig’s American Cousin.”

[09×04] – “Some say that if you lick his chest it tastes exactly the same as Piccalilly, and that at this weeks Brit Awards he was arrested for goosing Russell Brandt. All we know is he’s called the Stig.”

[09×05] – “Some say that he sucks the moisture from ducks, and that his crash helmet is modeled on Britney Spears’ head. All we know is he’s called the Stig.”

[09×06] – “Some say he isn’t machine washable, and all his potted plants are called ‘Steve’. All we know is he’s called the Stig.”

[10×01] – “Some say that his scrotum has it’s own small gravity field, and because our producer rigged a phone vote, he now has a new name. All we know is he’s called Cuddles.”

[10×02] – “Some say that he’s banned from the town of Chichester, and that in a recent late night deal he bought a slightly dented white Fiat Uno from the Duke of Edinburgh. All we know is he’s called the Stig.”

[10×03] – “Some say that he gets terrible eczema on his helmet, and that if he’d been the video ref in the World Cup rugby final he would have seen that of course it was a try you blind Australian half-wit. All we know is he’s called the Stig.”

[10×04] – “Some say that he’s seen The Lion King 1,780 times, and that his second best friend is a Cape Buffalo. All we know is he’s not the Stig, but he is the Stig’s African Cousin.”

[10×05] – “Some say that to unlock him you have to run your finger down his face, like that. And that if he were getting divorced from Paul McCartney he’d keep his stupid whining mouth shut. All we know is he’s called the Stig.”

[10×06] – “Some say that he thought Star Wars was a documentary, and that he recently pulled out of “I’m a Celebrity” because he’s frightened of trees, and Australia, and Koo Stark, and Ant, and Dec. All we know is he’s called the Stig.”

[10×07] – “Some say that he knows two facts about ducks and both of them are wrong. And that 61 years ago he accidentally introduced her majesty The Queen to a Greek racialist. All we know is that I’m going to the tower now to have my head cut off, and he is called the Stig.”

[10×08] – “Some say that when he slows down, brake lights come on in his buttocks. And that if he’d been the manager of the England football squad last week he wouldn’t have been a feckless ginger gum chewing buffoon and ruined it for all of us. All we know is he’s called the Stig.”

[10×09] – “Some say that he once lost a canoe on a beach in the north east, and that he once did some time in a prison in Canterbury because his teddy is called “The baby Jesus”. All we know is he’s called the Stig.”

[10×10] – “Some say that as we speak he is actually relaxing in the resort’s pool, and he is actually.”

[11×01] – “Some say that after making love he bites the head off his partner, and that he’s had to give up binge drinking now that it’s got to £1.18 a litre. All we know is he’s called the Stig.”

[11×02] – “Some say that each of his toenails are exactly the same as a woman’s nipples, and that he thinks the credit crunch is some kind of breakfast cereal. All we know is he’s called the Stig.”

[11×04] – “Some say his droppings have been found as far north as York, and that he has a full size tattoo of his face, on his face. All we know is he’s called the Stig.”

[11×05] – “Some say that he isn’t allowed by law to be within 100 yards of Lorraine Kelly, and that he’s never seen an episode of Top Gear because he’s a huge fan of Midsomer Murders. All we know is he’s called the Bergerak.”

[11×06] – “Some say it’s impossible for him to wear socks, and he can open a beer bottle with his testes. All we know is he’s called the Stig.”

[12×01] – “Some say that he sleeps inside out, and that he once had full sex with Russell Brandt’s answering machine. All we know is he’s called the Stig.”

[12×02] – “Some say that he invented November, and that if he won the world championship in Brazil last weekend there might have been one photograph of him without his father, gurning in the back of shot. All we know is he’s called the Stig.”

[12×04] – “Some say he has a stripey top, just like mine……..” [James May]

[12×05] – “Some say that one of his eyes is a testie, and that he was turned down for ‘I’m a Celebrity’ because people have heard of him. All we know is he’s called the Stig.”

[12×06] – “Some say that one of his legs gets longer when he sees a pretty lady, and that I haven’t done one of these for some time and I’ve forgotten to make up a second thing. All we know is he’s called the Stig.” [Richard Hammond]

[12×07] – “Some say, that he doesn’t like to get his helmet wet, a point that was proved last week when he was caught in the back of shot by an eagle eyed viewer (a picture is shown of The Stig using an umbrella) all we know is, he’s called The Stig”

[13×01] – “Some say that he invented the curtain, and that he recently submitted a £20,000 expenses claim for some gravel, for his moat. All we know is he’s called the Stig.”

[13×02] – “Some say that last week he was found in a locked room tied to a chair with German piano wire. And that this week, MP’s turned him down for the job of “Speaker”. All we know is that’s three things he has in common with Margaret Beckett.”

[13×03] – “Some say that he thinks crisps are animals, and that if he’d done well at Wimbledon, once in a while he might have been able to raise a smile. All we know is he’s called the Stig.”

[13×04] – “Some say that he is absolutely baffled by urinals, and that on reflection this was a bad week to launch his debut single – it’s a tribute, to Farrah Fawcett. All we know is he’s called the Stig.”

[13×05] – “Some say he has 12 GCSE’s all in domestic science, and that he’s been producing artificial sperm for years – even though we have repeatedly asked him not to. All we know is he’s called the Stig.”

[13×06] – “Some say that on Thursdays he becomes incredibly bulbous, and that recently pigs in Mexico have started to die of something called Stig Flu. All we know is he’s highly contagious.”

[13×07] – “Some say that he cut that man’s hair, and that if he compensated a soldier for getting wounded he wouldn’t try to take it all back again. All we know is he’s called the Stig.”

[14×01] – “Some say that in the Autumn all his arms go brown and fall off. And that if he wrote you a letter of condolence he would at least get your name right. All we know is he’s called the Stog.”

[14×02] – “Some say that he has some terrible plans involving the moon, and that he was turned down for a place on “I’m a Celebrity” because he is one. All we know is he’s called the Stig.”

[14×03] – “Some say that his new Christmas range of fragrances includes the great smell of ‘Wednesday’, and that he was turned down for the job of EU President because his face is just too recognizable. All we know is he’s called the Stig.”

[14×04] – “Some say that the drinks cabinet in his car contains 14 different types of custard, and while he has been known to leave his house in a bit of a hurry, he’s never once hit a fire hydrant. All we know is he’s called the Stig.”

[14×05] – “Some say that you shouldn’t go ’round to his house for ya Christmas Lunch unless you enjoy the great taste of Seagull, and that the reason he always wears a helmet is that a man once smashed him in the face with a model of Salisbury Cathedral. All we know is he’s called the Stig.”

[14×07] – “Some say that he has to take his shoes off with an allen key, and that his new year’s resolution is to eat fewer mice. All we know is he’s called the Stig.”

[15×01] – “Some say that his discharge is luminous, and that even as we speak he is appearing on the main stage at Glastonbury performing his most famous hit “Superstition”. All we know is he’s called the Stig.”

[15×02] – “Some say that there are seventeen different reasons why he’s banned from the North Hampton branch of Little Chef, and that his favourite airline pilot is Mark Webber.. mine too actually. All we know is he’s called the Stig.”

[15×03] – “Some say that if you hold him in the wrong way he doesn’t work properly, and that just very recently he developed an irrational hatred of Rubens Barrichello. All we know is he’s called the Stig.”

[15×04] – “Some say that he spent all week daydreaming about what Rubens Barrichello would look like in a ham slicer, and that he’s terrified the BBC will reveal his salary because he’s paid in strong pornography. All we know is he’s called the Stig.”

[15×05] – “Some say the Scottish released him a little bit too soon, and that he spent all week pushing an effigy of Rubens Barrichello through his desk fan. All we know is he’s called the Stig.”

[15×06] – “Some say that he’s recently been releasing pop records under the pseudonym of Lady Gaga, and that under his race suit he also wears a red G-string and suspenders. All we know is he’s called the Stig.”

[16×03] – “Please welcome TOP GEAR’S NEW STIG!”

[16×04] – “Some say that he doesn’t understand the word ‘envelope’, and that he is the only woman in Britain not to have slept with Alan Johnson’s policemen. All we know is he’s called the Stig.”

[16×05] – “Some say he once tore a goat in half, and that he is now regretting buying his new holiday home in downtown Cairo. All we know is he’s called the Stig.”

[16×06] – “Some say his nipples are explosive, and that he’s recently had a Mexican… I mean Brazilian! Why did I say that! I’m sorry Mr Ambassador! Anyway, all we know is he’s called the Stig!”

[16×07] – “Some say that in his wallet he keeps a photograph of his wallet, and that in a recent race even he was beaten by the King’s speech. All we know is he’s called the Stig!”

[16×08] – “Some say that his favourite disease that he had when he was a child was Gout, and that he was very surprised this week when he was able to pick up some remarkably cheap tickets to the Bahrain Grand Prix. All we know is he’s called the Stig.”

[17×01] – “Some say he doesn’t know what dogs are for, and that he recently took out a super-injunction to prevent us from revealing that he …….. …………… … …….. ….. …….. ……. with an enormous goat. All we know is he’s called the Stig.”

[17×02] – “Some say that he can’t eat mashed potato for religious reasons, and that he recently received 47,000 tickets, Olympic tickets, all of them for the final of the Women’s Wrestling. All we know is he’s called the Stig.”

[17×03] – “Some say that he refuses to acknowledge the existence of Nottingham shire, and that he recently received a very strong email from his finance’s mother, saying its bad manners to sit at the dinner table in a helmet. All we know is he’s called the Stig.”

[17×04] – “Some say that he once hacked into his own helmet, and that he thinks Harper Seven is a convicted terrorist cell. All we know is he’s called the Stig.”

[17×06] – “Some say that his favourite T-shirt has a picture on the front of a T-shirt, and that he spent all week waiting for a big cheque from the Germans, because he too has spent the last 2000 years sitting on his backside doing absolutely nothing at all. All we know is he’s called the Stig.”

[18×01] – “Some say he’s not the Stig. But he is the Stig’s Italian cousin!”

[18×02] – “Some say he’s the Stig, but he isn’t. He’s the Stig’s Chinese cousin!”

[18×03] – “Some say he has 50,000 photographs of his own camera, and that 60 years ago this week, he too became a Queen. All we know is he’s called the Stig.”

[18×04] – “He’s not the Stig’s alpine cousin, he’s just the Stig.”

[18×05] – “Some say that he is the only man in history to buy a DFS sofa when there wasn’t a sale on, and that his favourite boxing venue is Munich airport. All we know is he’s called the Stig.”

[18×06] – “Some say that he stores all of his shoes and his cassette tapes on the motorway central reservation, and that he can easily stay quiet for 2 hours, he’s wondering why he didn’t win an Oscar. All we know is he’s called the Stig.”

[19×01] – “Some say that we have at least thought of a new way of introducing him, but we haven’t. He’s the Stig!”

[19×03] – “Some say that following the vote on gay marriage, he’s got engaged to James May……’s lawn mower, and that he’s become convinced this week Henry IV is buried under the follow-through. All we know is he’s called the Stig!”

[19×04] – “Some say he contains 47% horse, and that to concentrate more on his work here he has resigned this week from his other job in Rome. All we know is he’s called the Stig!”

[20×01] – “Some say he has the world’s largest collection of horse eggs, and that when he knocked Rafael Nadal out this week, it wasn’t during a game of Tennis. All we know is he’s called the Stig!”

[20×02] – “Some say that he breaks into people’s houses at night and leaves two mysterious extra keys in a kitchen drawer, and that as a result of buying Pirelli condoms this week, he now has seventeen children. All we know is he’s called The Stig!”

[20×04] – “Some say that he also has a button that makes him hum, and that if he played football for Manchester United he’d be loyal, because he’s not a potato-headed oaf. But all we know is he’s the Stig!”

[20×05] – “Some say he’s married to one of Princess Anne’s hats, and that he spent all week standing outside the hospital in London, pretending to be Nicholas Witchell. All we know is he’s called The Stig!”

[21×03] – “Some say that this week he’s wearing two layers of nomex, and that one a recent trip to Cornwall he stopped off for one of his special big wees in Somerset. But all we know is he’s the Stig!”

[21×04] – “Some say that he once put Helen Mirren in a dishwasher, and that at the Winter Olympics he was disqualified from the skeleton event for riding down the hill on an actual skeleton. All we know is he’s called the Stig!”

[21×05] – “Some say that his hair is the exact same shape as a hat, and that if he worked for CNN… he wouldn’t get such pitifully low ratings that his show got cancelled. All we know is he’s called the Stig!”

[22×01] – “Some say that his favourite football formation is 8-8-19, and that while we were off-air his iCloud was hacked and now everyone in the world has seen his helmet. All we know is he’s called the Stig!”

[22×02] – “It isn’t The Stig… but it is The Stig’s Australian Cousin.”

[22×04] – “Some say that last week he won a BAFTA for ‘Best Original Smell’, and that when he dies he thinks you’ll go to Devon. All we know is he’s called the Stig!”

[22×05] – “Some say that his favourite flower is the potato, and that even though he’s seen Fifty Shades of Grey he still thinks BDSM is a driving school. All we know is he’s called the Stig!”

[22×07] – “Some say that he wishes there was someone he could talk to about his mis-sold PPI, and that he spent all week making a stair-lift for Madonna. All we know is he’s called the Stig!”

361 comments

sexx February 21, 2024 at 5:38 pm

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No-Good February 5, 2022 at 5:17 pm

Some say he is confused by the Alt Left, the Alt Right and the Alt Middle and that he wants to build the Honor Roller so he can drive a car from the Simpsons All we know is he’s called the Stig!

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No-Good February 2, 2022 at 8:59 am

Some say that he has been banned from Springfield because while on a 24 hour bender he drove every car and truck from Mr. Plow to the Pink Sedan and that he shot Mr. Burns, All we know is he’s called the Stig!

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Kristofer Lawrence February 5, 2021 at 4:55 pm

I agree with you

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Stiggo August 25, 2019 at 12:32 pm

Some say that one of Nostradamus’ prophecies predicted his birth, and that he is banned from entering the Spanish city of A Coruña. All we know, he’s called the Stig.

Some say that he was once a Elvis impersonator in Las Vegas, and that his favorite beer is Tsingtao. All we know, he’s called the Stig.

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Stiggo August 18, 2019 at 6:51 am

Some say that if he were to participate in the “Storm Area 51, They Can’t Stop All of Us” event, he’d be unable to Naruto run because he wears a helmet, and that he’s convinced ACME is a driving school. All we know, he’s called the Stig!

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The Stug July 22, 2019 at 9:19 am

Some say that he speaks a rare tongue of Tagalog known as “Stigalog”, and that he participated in the EDSA Revolution but was kicked out for wearing a helmet. All we know is, he’s not the Stig, but he is The Stig’s Filipino cousin!

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The Stug July 22, 2019 at 9:16 am

Some say that back in the early 2010’s he was kicked out of the Occupy Wall Street camp for showing up with a sign reading “We are 99 cents”, and that he has a digital gentleman’s sausage. All we know is, he’s called The Stig.

Some say that whatever the bloody hell is being said at the start of the Attack on Titan theme is actually his language for “The easy way to stop the Titans is to build the world’s largest flamethrower”, and that we get our Stig quotes from MotoringBox.com. All we know is, he’s called The Stig.

Some say that he created the confederate flag, and that he’s convinced Tiff Needell is edible. All we know is, he’s called The Stig.

Some say that he invented the mobile phone to communicate with animals, and that his favorite anime neko girl is Catherine from Gintama. All we know is, he’s called The Stig.

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The Stug July 17, 2019 at 9:38 am

Some say that he’s convinced that To Catch a Predator is a nature documentary, and that following the release of Leaving Neverland he has revealed that as a child he was sexually abused by Michael Jackson…’s answering machine. All we know is, he’s called The Stig.

Some say that he once drove a Ferrari LaFerrari across Switzerland without getting beaten up by the hippie locals, and that his all-time favorite dance party song is “It’s Okay To Be Gay” by Tomboy. All we know is, he’s called The Stig.

Some say that’s he never cried once in his life, and that his snot can be used to cure cancer. All we know is, he’s called The Stig.

Some say that his favorite magical girl is Cure Flora from Go! Princess Pretty Cure, and that he once showed up to an anti-Donald Trump rally with a blank sign. All we know is, he’s called The Stig.

Some say that he used to be known as Dermot Morgan, and that he too lives on Craggy Island. All we know is, he’s called Father Stig!

Some say that his cat’s claws are made of carbon fiber, and that he only speaks around hot ladies. All we know is, he’s called The Stig.

Some say that he can open beer bottles with his elbows, and that he’s the only celebrity who hasn’t been exposed as a sexual predator by the #MeToo movement since all the women he’s assaulted are too terrified to speak out against him. All we know is, he’s called The Stig.

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Brian June 29, 2019 at 7:28 am

Some say that he is as survivable as Twinkies and cockroaches, and that if he could be bothered he could stop global warming by installing a giant MaxxAir fan on the moon. All we know is, he’s called The Stig.

Some say that he once showed up to a show jumping competition with a zebra instead of a horse, and that he learned to drive by driving a Reliant Robin backwards through the Mojave Desert. All we know is, he’s called The Stig.

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Brian June 28, 2019 at 10:42 am

Some say that if you are to play the Scary Maze Game on a Wednesday in the evening, a video of him playing dominos appears at the end instead of the face of that possessed girl from the exorcist, and his favorite anime male lead is InuYasha. All we know is, he’s called The Stig.

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Brian June 25, 2019 at 5:17 am

Some say that the television in his Icelandic holiday home stops working on Thursdays, and that his favorite grindcore band is The Wiggles. All we know is, he’s called the Stig.

Some say that he invented racism, and that he brushes his teeth with correction fluid. All we know is, he’s called the Stig.

Some say that there are 25 different reasons why he is banned from entering Dharamshala, and that he once spent all week wondering what the cast of the Downfall parody videos do in their spare time. All we know is, he’s called the Stig.

Some say that his toenails can speak Latin, and that he’s the only person in the world who knows what “Bawitdaba, da bang, da dang diggy diggy, diggy, said the boogie, said up jump the boogie” means. All we know is, he’s called the Stig.

Some say that if he could be bothered he could bring back saber-toothed tigers from extinction, and that the Moon was named for his great-great-great-great-great-great-grandfather. All we know is, he’s called the Stig.

Some say that he was a member of the Muslim Student Followers of the Imam’s Line during the Iranian Revolution but got kicked out midway during the Tehran U.S. embassy siege for wearing a helmet, and that his favorite end-of-the-world film is The Joy Luck Club. All we know is, he’s called the Stig.

Some say that he invented the concept of rent-a-cops, and that he is the only one who expects the Spanish Inquisition. All we know is- *DAAAAAAAAAA!* NO-body expects the Spanish Inquisition!

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Brian June 21, 2019 at 5:11 am

Some say that he’s convinced greenhouse gasses are some kind of petrol to run your greenhouse on, and his favorite magical girl anime is Ally McBeal. All we know is, he’s called the Stig.

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Brian June 17, 2019 at 11:35 am

Some say that his fursona is a Volkswagen Beetle, and that while we’re off air he makes internet reviews under the pseudonym of The Nostalgia Critic. All we know is, he’s called Doug “Stig” Walker!

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Brian June 17, 2019 at 11:28 am

Some say that he was the first person ever to realize that astronomers are attention-seeking basement dwelling nerdy wastes of blood and organs, and he once won a Razzie for “Worst Foot Odor”. All we know is, he’s called the Stig.

Some say that he’s convinced screamers are animals, and his favorite craft beer is Kraftwerk. All we know is, he’s called the Stig.

Some say that his gentlemen’s sausage speaks every language known to man and even alien languages we haven’t discovered and/or created dictionaries for yet, and that back in 1986 he was disqualified from the Goodwill Games in Moscow because no one knew which national anthem to play. All we know is, he’s called the Stig.

Some say that his Lykan HyperSport is powered by nuclear energy, and that he invented the concept of internet hoaxes. All we know is, he’s called the Stig.

Some say that his favorite illegal drug is Vitameatavegamin, and that the North Korean political prisoner camps are actually the concentration camps for the rest of his species. All we know is, he’s called the Stig.

Some say that due to recent events he’s regretted buying his new holiday home in the downtown area of Caracas, Venezuela, and that he once swam from Alaska to Russia by moonwalking on water. All we know is, he’s called the Stig.

Some say that if he could be bothered he could achieve world peace by singing “Enid” by the Barenaked Ladies in Sinhala, and that he’s baffled by hamsters. All we know is, he’s called the Stig.

Some say that despite being a heavy smoker he’s immune to lung cancer and other diseases you can pick up from tobacco usage, and that he realized Cory in the House wasn’t an anime long before everybody else. All we know is, he’s called the Stig.

Some say that he’s terrified the BBC will reveal what his new salary is since nowadays he’s paid in Magical Doremi lolicon hentai, and that he thinks YouTube Poops are mirrors into alternate universes. All we know is, he’s called the Stig.

Some say that he’s the last thing people see before they die, and that his eyeballs are made out of the bricks from the original Indianapolis Motor Speedway. All we know is, he’s called the Stig.

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Brian June 9, 2019 at 3:51 am

Some say that he always pays for his goods at the checkout when he’s shoplifting, and he’s absolutely baffled by Nestle Milo. All we know is, he’s called the Stig.

Some say that he rode on every bus the Atheist Bus Campaign and similar campaigns advertised on, and he once punched a priest in the face with his elbow. All we know is, he’s not the Stig, but he is the Stig’s atheist cousin!

We aren’t milkmen, but this man is! He’s not the Stig, but he is the Stig’s milk float driving cousin!

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Brian June 7, 2019 at 9:18 pm

Some say that whenever he sneezes his snot forms incredibly tiny black holes, and he is the only person in the world who knows that astronomers are losers who live in their mums’ basements and beg for attention every few months. All we know is, he’s called the Stig.

Some say that despite having watched Salvation he’s still convinced that NASA is a driving school and that asteroids are a species in World of Warcraft, and that his favorite medical drama is Hamtaro. All we know is, he’s called the Stig.

Some say that atheists are terrified of him, and if he could be bothered he could walk the Earth 3 times in just 8 seconds. All we know is, he’s called the Stig.

Some say that on a cross-country road trip in Canada he accidentally left a campfire unattended in Fort McMurray, and that his birth certificate was an apology from Bill France Sr.. All we know is, he’s called the Stig.

Some say he was a crossing guard for when Russia invaded Crimea, and that he mines Nintendium for Nintendo. All we know is, he’s called the Stig.

Some say he’s convinced MNL48 is a newly-discovered moon of Pluto, and that his blood consists of 98% high fructose corn syrup. All we know is, he’s called the Stig.

Some say he’s seen all the episodes of Voltes V over 200 times, and that he only eats Pocky. All we know is, he’s not the Stig, but he is the Stig’s otaku cousin!

Some say that while we’re off air he’s a children’s TV host-turned-loony atheist under the pseudonym of Bill Nye, and he too wears a bowtie and blue tuxedo under his racing suit. All we know is, he’s called the Stig.

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Brian June 6, 2019 at 12:28 pm

Some say he’s convinced Tami Canal is a former president of the Philippines, and he’s the only person in the world who’s immune to diabetes. All we know is, he’s called the Stig.

Some say his toenails provide the main root of every single magical girl’s powers, and he once spent all week pushing a wasp’s nest through an airplane turbine. All we know is, he’s called the Stig.

Some say he has the world’s largest collection of empty bottles of craft beer, and he lives in a mansion in the middle of a quarry in Rutland. All we know is, he’s called the Stig.

Some say that as a result of trying both Goodyear and Hoosier condoms back in 1988, he gained sixteen children, one of whom just turned 69, and while we’re off air he ruins Venezuela everyday under the assumed name of Nicolas Maduro. All we know is, he’s called the Stig.

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LFA_fanatic January 19, 2021 at 2:09 am

“Some say that he thinks that CV19 stands for a F1 car model, and that he’s convinced that no true vaccine makes him immune to any disease. All we know is, he isn’t the Stig, but he is the Stig’s Laboratory cousin

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Brian June 6, 2019 at 12:08 pm

Some say he can’t predict the end of the world for religious reasons, and he is the only sexual predator Chris Hansen hasn’t brought to justice. All we know is, he’s called the Stig.

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Brian June 7, 2019 at 8:55 pm

Rewrite:

Some say his religion forbids him from predicting the end of the world, and he is the only sexual predator Chris Hansen hasn’t brought to justice. All we know is, he’s called the Stig.

Reply
Stig, the March 2, 2019 at 8:46 pm

Some say he communicates by blinking in Morse, and that he’s spent all last week trying to find his sexual orientation with a magnetic compass. All we know is… he’s called the STIG!

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Stig, the March 2, 2019 at 8:28 pm

Some say he cries in Morse and that he admits that, rather preposterously, his best friend is Rubens Barrichello. All we know is, he’s called the STIG!

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Stigosaurus June 11, 2017 at 5:07 pm

Some say his sleeves attract wildebeest, and that he sexually identifies as a microwave oven.

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Stigosaurus June 11, 2017 at 5:05 pm

Some say he can only speak to bees, and that he doesn’t understand The Dukes of Hazzard because it’s too intellectual for him.

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Stigosaurus June 11, 2017 at 5:03 pm

Some say he can walk faster than he can run, and that his reflection in a mirror has a mind of its own.

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Stigosaurus June 11, 2017 at 5:02 pm

Some say he is the founding (and only) member of the Church of James May’s Hair, and that he can project holograms from his belly button.

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Stigosaurus June 11, 2017 at 5:00 pm

Some say his right leg doesn’t believe in the existence of his left leg, and that he gave up on trying to drive a hard bargain because he couldn’t find the clutch pedal.

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Stigosaurus June 11, 2017 at 4:59 pm

Some say he cannot understand the word “milk”, and that his favorite board game a grizzly bear’s left eyeball. All we know is he’s called the Stig!

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Stigosaurus June 11, 2017 at 4:56 pm

Some say his body is 90 percent beer, and that he, and only he, knows what “diggy said the boogy said up jump the boogy” actually means. All we know is, he’s not the Stig, but he is the Stig’s redneck cousin!

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Stigosaurus June 11, 2017 at 4:55 pm

…and that he cannot wear roller skates without creating a logical paradox.

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Stigosaurus June 11, 2017 at 4:53 pm

Some say that he and the Lamborghini Gallardo are male and female of the same species.

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The Stig May 26, 2017 at 11:28 am

Some Say his favourite wine contains 15% diesel, and long before everyone else he knew Lindsay Lohan is a trainwrecked attention seeking waste of blood and organs, all we know is he’s called the Stig

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Benny002 May 26, 2017 at 11:25 am

Some Say his favourite wine contains 15% diesel, and long before everyone else he knew Lindsay Lohan is a trainwrecked attention seeking waste of blood and organs, all we know is he’s called the Stig

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Stephen A. Fletcher May 14, 2017 at 1:11 pm

Some say that he got hit on the helmet by a baseball while he was goosing Kate Upton, and in a laboratory in the USA, he was putting afro-americans together from spare parts. All we know is that he’s called the Stig.

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Stephen A. Fletcher May 3, 2017 at 1:19 pm

Some say that he gets his bananas from Iceland, and he thought that the Wednesday’s Play, The War Game was a Matthew Broderick film. All we know is that he’s called the Stig!

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The Stig April 15, 2017 at 10:39 pm

Some say that his helmet was used to seal Jesus’ tomb, and he lives inside a broom closet. All we know is, he’s called the Stig.

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The Stig April 15, 2017 at 10:35 pm

Some say that in the 2016 US Presidential Elections he voted for Jesus Christ, and atheists are terrified of him. All we know is, he’s not the Stig, but he is the Stig’s Christian cousin!

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The Stig April 15, 2017 at 10:33 pm

Some say the moans heard during his orgasms stop orphans from crying, and he created The Loud House. All we know is, he’s called the Stig.

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The Stig April 15, 2017 at 10:30 pm

Some say he invented waffles, and he’s convinced PETA is a driving school. All we know is, he’s called the Stig.

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The Stig April 15, 2017 at 10:26 pm

Some say his favorite film about the Holocaust is 33⅓ Revolutions per Monkee, and his talk show, Stickin’ with the Stig, is counter-programmed against Top Gear. All we know is, he’s called the Stig.

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The Stig April 14, 2017 at 9:02 pm

Some say he is banned from entering Sweden for wearing a helmet, and while we’re off air, he works in the voice acting industry under the pseudonym of Frank Welker. All we know is, he’s called the Stig.

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Zephyr75 April 12, 2017 at 2:02 pm

Some say he was a reporter in JTBC for decades, and that he went to Gwanghwamun Square to assist President Park’s impeachment, only to get banned for wearing a helmet. All we know is he’s not the Stig, but Sitg’a Korean cousin.

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Zephyr75 April 12, 2017 at 2:03 pm

Oops!! Stig’a ➡ Stig’s

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The Stig March 19, 2017 at 6:18 am

Some say that the town of Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch was named for his mom, and he was born around the time that the dinosaurs went extinct. All we know is, he’s called the Stig.

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The Stig March 18, 2017 at 10:28 am

Some say his oven is a cremation machine, and if he ran for the President of the United States he would win by default… because he would have eaten the opposition and made himself a new race suit from their skin. All we know is, he’s called the Stig.

Some say he has a horse’s gentleman’s sausage, and he was disqualified from last year’s Pikes Peak International Hill Climb, for literally climbing Pikes Peak. All we know is, he’s called the Stig.

Some say if he could be bothered, he could successfully convince Paul McCartney and Ringo Starr to reform The Beatles with the late George Harrison and the late John Lennon replaced with Dick Dale and Sean Lennon, and he learned to drive by riding a horse off the Vasquez Rocks and into a pool of werewolves with massive boners. All we know is, he’s called the Stig.

Some say his scrotum is made of the asphalt from the old Riverside International Raceway, and his Lykan HyperSport’s steering wheel is made from recycled dildos. All we know is, he’s called the Stig.

Some say his rev. limiter goes to 11, and he refuses to acknowledge the independence of Israel. All we know is, he’s called the Stig.

Some say that in a past life he was called Franklin D. Roosevelt, and that he cried for weeks after he ordered for all Japanese-Americans, German-Americans, and Italian-Americans in the United States to be interred. All we know is, he’s called the Stig.

Some say that his religion forbids him to turn left in Milton Keynes, and that he once car-jacked Kyle Busch’s 2010 “kittens, bunnies and little baby seals” race car and sold it to a motorsports-themed Little Chef in Peckham. All we know is, he’s called the Stig.

Some say he was born on Krypton, and his brother is Clark Kent, aka Superman. All we know is, he’s called SuperStig!

Some say that he was disqualified from the 1976 Summer Olympics in Montreal because no one knew what national anthem to play, and the same thing happened at the 1980, 1984, and 2012 Summer Olympics as well. All we know is, he’s called the Stig.

Some say he is convinced the Soviet Union is still around, and he won the Nobel Peace Prize in 2014, but Kailash Satyarthi and Malala Yousafzai stole the award. All we know is, he’s called the Stig.

Some say that one of the tracks from his new pub rock album, “The Stig Had Sex with The Record Industry’s Mother,” is him reciting his birth certificate information, and that he caused the Bosnian War. All we know is, he’s called the Stig.

Some say he was disqualified from the ice hockey event at the 1984 Winter Olympics in Sarajevo for using bandy equipment, and he invented the Game Boy Color by kitbashing an original Game Boy and a Sega Game Gear. All we know is, he’s called the Stig.

Some say that his mansion in Oxford has a massive underground parking garage with every vehicle known to man, and he was recently released from his contract with the Cleveland Gladiators in the Arena Football League (AFL) for using his own helmet instead of an American football helmet. All we know is, he’s called the Stig.

Some say that if he could be bothered, he could help bring saber tooth tigers back by cloning, and his gentlemen’s sausage talks and is a pop signer. All we know is, he’s called the Stig.

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The Stig March 16, 2017 at 6:09 am

Some say that he once fell in the ocean and Gilligan, the Skipper, the Millionaire and his wife, the Movie Star, the Professor and Mary-Ann had land to walk home, and when he once went to Japan in a green speedo, everyone screamed “GOJIRA!”. Others say that when he once stepped on a scale Captain Slow’s phone number showed up, and when we’re off air, he spends his time running around an airfield. The rest say that when he wears Hollister shirts, a helicopter lands on the H, and he mines Nintendium for Nintendo. All we know is, he’s called the Stig.

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The Stig March 16, 2017 at 6:03 am

Some say he once punched a process server in the face because the lawsuit filed against him was filed by somebody who had been killed in a car crash the week before, and he once spent all week having an bestiality orgy with his pet chickens. All we know is, he’s called the Stig.

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The Stig March 16, 2017 at 6:00 am

Some say that when he was 12 he was sued by his aunt for breaking her wrist when she leaped on her in a birthday greeting when he was 8, and his idea of dieting is getting a liposuction. All we know is, he’s called the Stig.

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The Stig March 15, 2017 at 8:31 am

Some say that at the 2007 Lovebox Festival, he punched Fred Schneider in the face for being vegetarian, and making his band’s most famous song “Rock Lobster” instead of “Pop Crab”, and very recently he’s had an affair with Bob Mothersbaugh’s Ibanez Spud Custom electric guitar. All we know is, he’s called the Stig.

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The Stig March 15, 2017 at 8:25 am

Some say that after the shooting of Michael Brown, he began to regret buying his new holiday home in Ferguson, Missouri, and he is baffled by the alt-right. All we know is, he’s called the Stig.

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The Stig March 15, 2017 at 8:16 am

Some say that he once drove across the English Channel on a Harley-Davidson motorcycle, on the roof of the Chunnel, and that he is baffled by British humor. All we know is, he’s called the Stig.

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The Stig March 15, 2017 at 8:13 am

Some say that while we’re off air, he works as an anti-obesity activist in New York under the pseudonym of MeMe Roth, and he once spent all week building a hand-controlled F1 car for Philippe Streiff. All we know is, he’s called the Stig.

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The Stig March 15, 2017 at 8:04 am

Some say he once had a liposuction because his tummy hurt, and conspiracy theorists are terrified of him. All we know is, he’s called the Stig.

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The Stig March 15, 2017 at 8:03 am

Some say he once punched a man with down syndrome in the face for looking ugly, and his favorite Olympic sport is short course off road racing. All we know is, he’s called the Stig.

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The Stig March 15, 2017 at 8:01 am

Some say he was disqualified from the fencing contest at the 2016 Summer Olympics for using an actual garden fence, and he can communicate with children with intellectual disabilities or other developmental conditions just by simply waving his hand. All we know is, he’s called the Stig.

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The Stig March 15, 2017 at 7:56 am

Some say he once threw Matt LeBlanc’s mother down a coal mine shaft because one of her family recipe meatballs was pink on the inside, and he regularly goes to http://w11.zetaboards.com/Retro_Pizza_Zone/index/. All we know is, he’s called The Stig!

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The Stig March 15, 2017 at 7:54 am

Some say that when he was a kid, he spent all week murdering his step-mother by pushing her through the ceiling fan, and once smashed Paul McCartney in the face with a model of a McDonald’s restaurant as a political statement. All we know is, he’s called The Stig!

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The Stig March 14, 2017 at 6:23 am

Some say his latest gangsta rap single, “Stig in Da Hood”, has a message from the Flying Spaghetti Monster when you play it backwards, and he once spent all week pushing a copy of I Am Malala through his ceiling fan. All we know is, he’s called The Stig!

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The Stig March 14, 2017 at 6:21 am

Some say he’s married to the Mexican vampire lady Maria Cristerna, and if you play the theme song to Jem and the Holograms backwards, you can hear him cleaning the cool wall. All we know is, he’s called The Stig!

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The Stig March 14, 2017 at 6:17 am

Some say his pet Black Ameraucana hen can change it’s color to white to match his racing suit and helmet, and he has a horse’s gentlemen’s sausage. All we know is, he’s called the Stig!

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The Stig March 14, 2017 at 6:07 am

Some say he now regrets buying his new holiday home in Moscow, and he is banned from the American city of Akron, Ohio. All we know is, he’s called the Stig.

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The Stig March 13, 2017 at 11:52 am

Some say he was the undercover investigator who arrested several people in Stockton, California for selling homemade food, and he is baffled by police brutality. All we know is, he’s called The Stig.

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The Stig March 13, 2017 at 11:50 am

Some say he’s baffled by the bans on cockfighting, and he thinks veganism is a government conspiracy to keep the populace dumb and conformist. All we know is, he hates animal rights activists with all his guts.

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The Stig March 13, 2017 at 11:43 am

Some say his car’s engine is a Allison V-3420 airplane engine, and his favorite soap opera is The Nutshack. All we know is, he’s called The Stig.

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Some guy September 22, 2016 at 1:59 am

Some say he is confused by paperclips, and that he once put Tabasco Sauce on a duck as a political statement, all we know is he’s called the Stig!

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Pendejo September 5, 2016 at 11:15 am

Some say he’s addicted to collecting Beanie Babies, others say he took a pillow as his prom date, all we know is he’s called the Stig.

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Your name * August 14, 2016 at 6:29 am

some say he speak privatly in hs helmet, and that if you try to listen carefully you hear nothing all we know is he is called the stig.

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the guy with no name August 12, 2016 at 3:30 am

Some say that he once tried to power slide an actual Jaguar and that ’til this day he still thinks Belgium is a fictional place.

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the guy with no name July 20, 2016 at 4:44 am

Some say that he is not suitable for children under the age of 3… and that once opened he should be kept refrigerated and consumed within 1 week

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anon June 29, 2016 at 12:31 am

Some say he has no limbs and sleeps with 50 chickens in his room

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Kyle April 12, 2016 at 3:52 am

Some say that he invented the Anteater and that when he wins at bingo he disintegrates slowly over 3 weeks.

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Cristina Comi March 8, 2016 at 7:42 am

Some say that he play Jon Snow better than Kit Harrington, but than he’s cast to impersonata a white walker… and he’s call the stig..

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Ezequiel Chikos January 15, 2016 at 11:58 pm

Some say that he doesn’t go to the toilet, and that his mother is a penguin.

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The Stig's Bathroom Plunger January 4, 2016 at 3:41 am

Some say his social security number is 1. And he babysat Dennis Anderson. All we know is he’s been around since the start of everything, and he’s called the Stig!

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The Stig's Bathroom Plunger January 4, 2016 at 3:40 am

Some say his first Christmas was the first Christmas. And he remembers when the Burger Kings were princes. Yes, there is a second Burger King, in Mattoon, Illinois. Anyways, all we know is he’s been around since the start of everything, and he’s called the Stig!

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The Stig's Bathroom Plunger January 4, 2016 at 3:38 am

Some say he grew up with The Flintstones, and he babysat Ben Franklin. All we know is he’s been around since the start of everything, and he’s called the Stig!

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The Stig's Bathroom Plunger December 14, 2015 at 5:56 am

Some say he knows first hand the nursery rhyme “London Bridge Is Falling Down” is based on true events.

Oh come on Jeremy…

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The Stig's Bathroom Plunger December 14, 2015 at 5:43 am

Some say he gave historians the secrets to Mesopotamia, and conspiracy theorists are absolutely frightened by him. All we know is he’s been around since the start of everything, and he’s called the Stig!

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The Stig's Bathroom Plunger December 14, 2015 at 5:42 am

Some say that his birth certificate says doctor “God”. And he was a crossing guard for when Iraq invaded Kuwait. All we know is he’s been around since the start of everything, and he’s called the Stig!

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The Stig's Bathroom Plunger December 14, 2015 at 5:40 am

Some say he’s been around since the start of the multiverse, and archaeologists found ancient pottery in his helmet. All we know is he’s been around since the start of everything, and he’s called the Stig!

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The Stig's Bathroom Plunger December 6, 2015 at 2:47 am

Some say Jeremy Clarkson’s parodies on Newzoids were part of his contract for Top Gear, and Grumpy Cat was a result of his mating call, of which Cool Cat and the Grinch responded. All we know is he’s called the Stig!

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Thomas the Tank Engine December 5, 2015 at 10:41 am

Some say when he walks into a locomotive the check engine light comes on. And a police officer once shot him and the bullets came back with flashlights saying “I can’t find the alien-suit wearing thingamajig”. All we know is he’s called the Stig!

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Thomas the Tank Engine December 5, 2015 at 10:35 am

Some say he has a horse’s gentlemen’s sausage. And his birth certificate is a apology letter from NASCAR. Also, he thinks Kraftwerk are a convicted terrorist cell. All we know is, he’s crazy.

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Thomas the Tank Engine December 3, 2015 at 7:25 am

Some say Paranormal Activity was his birth video. And he owns a “Stigloo” as a summer home in Antarctica. All we know is he’s called the Stig.

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Thomas the Tank Engine December 3, 2015 at 7:17 am

Some say Maximum Overdrive was his wedding video. And he is the reason why PVC plastics exist. Also he has a sniper cousin who was hired by my good friends at Toys “R” Us to shoot and kill protesters at their stores. All we know is, he’s called the Stig.

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Thomas the Tank Engine December 3, 2015 at 7:12 am

Some say that in the past he helped found Greenpeace and was named Jim Bohlen, and that he was hired by my good friends at Toys “R” Us to shoot and kill protesters at their stores. Also Christians are afraid of him. All we know is, he’s called the Stig.

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Thomas the Tank Engine November 2, 2015 at 12:45 am

Some say he owns of the few remaining Brubaker Box kit cars and his house is located in the middle of a old rock quarry. All we know is he’s called the Stig.

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Brandon October 12, 2015 at 11:23 am

Some say he owns the only smell-o-vision set in the world. And this week, he believes Jimmy Hoffa is buried at Gambon. All we know is he’s called the Stig!

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StigFromSpace August 19, 2015 at 10:26 pm

Some say he actually CAN set fire to the rain, and that he possesses the mysterious power to make onions cry. All we know is, he’s called the Stig!

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StiggieStiggie August 10, 2015 at 10:54 pm

Some say that he used to be called Bruce but now prefers to be called Caitin, and that he is not a hero. Also ISIS is afraid of him. All we know is that he’s called The Stig

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the guy with no name August 7, 2015 at 5:17 pm

Some say that he’s been around longer than the dinosaurs, but not longer than James May and that the inside of his helmet is lined with mammoth fur.

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Harold Biondo August 6, 2015 at 5:01 am

Some say, he operates on a 25 hour cycle
…and that the last man to anger him was named Jimmy Hoffa
All we know is, he’s called The Stig

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the guy with no name July 30, 2015 at 5:37 pm

Some say that he’s allergic to diesel and that if he went to a fencing tournament he would turn up with an actual garden fence.

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Stig mc stiggonson July 2, 2015 at 10:35 am

Some say the road warrior was his wedding video and he farts n20 all we know is he’s called the stig

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ThatGuyYouDon'tKnow June 22, 2015 at 4:28 pm

Some say he learned to drive by riding a horse backwards into a black hole; and that the Old Spice man is his apprentice.

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the guy with no name June 12, 2015 at 12:52 pm

Some say that all of his parts are interchangeable and that he thinks children are adults’ pets.

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Jasper fraim June 10, 2015 at 11:54 pm

Some say that thermostats confuse him, and that he holds the world record for solving the rubix cube with his face. All we know is he’s called the Stig!

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Andrew Norman Cook June 4, 2015 at 12:07 pm

Some say his eyes are transparent, he can hear snow falling and like every one else has 10 toes. 4 on one foot 6 on the other.
All we know is he is called the stig.

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me May 28, 2015 at 3:43 am

Some say he punched a man in the face because there was hot food available at the hotel; and that he spends all his time running around an airfield. All we know, is he’s unemployed.

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joshua_nash May 19, 2015 at 2:51 pm

Some say he laughed his ass off when heard Clarkson got canned, then realized how empty his life is without Clarkson,May and Hammond. All we know is, He is called the stig

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Shawn Philip May 17, 2015 at 5:02 am

Some say he hates when there’s no music in his car, and he’s pondering how to ride deer.
All we know is, he’s called the Stig

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the guy with no name May 12, 2015 at 6:21 pm

Some say that if he were a baker he would bake bread with cocaine instead of flower and that he tried to sell his garden weeds as weed the drug…but that business didn’t turn out well for him…because he fed all of his drugs to his pet chair

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the guy with no name May 12, 2015 at 6:17 pm

Some say that his farts are more 50 times more explosive than human farts and that he can punch a hole through 3m thick diamond with his hand.

Some say that in terms of using the force and a lightsaber he makes Yoda look like a girl scout and that ’till this day he still hasn’t been credited as the designer for the original stormtrooper suits.

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the guy with no name May 12, 2015 at 6:12 pm

Some say that he too is now officially and endangered species.

And that the ‘music’ during his power laps is actually him trying to communicate with humans.

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the guy with no name May 12, 2015 at 6:10 pm

Some say that he is scared sh*tless by the sea…because it brings back memories…of his father…Black Stig

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the guy with no name May 12, 2015 at 6:06 pm

Some say that if he ran for minister he would win by default…because he would have eaten the opposition and made himself a new race suit from their skin.

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the guy with no name May 12, 2015 at 6:03 pm

Some say that he thinks Lego is some kind of leg servicing company for his hydraulic leg and that so far mega blocks have been pretty problematic.

Some say that it was his space ship that crash landed in Roswell and that he has been trying to get home ever since, only Top Gear have been holding him prisoner hence why Black Stig drove the jag into the sea.

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the guy with no name May 12, 2015 at 5:54 pm

Some say that all this time we have been looking at his actual face and that the Stiggle picture was actually part of his CV for Top Gear.

Some say that he has an Arctic cousin who says he could have reached the North Pole in half of Jezza and Slow’s time, except he didn’t do it…because he couldn’t be bothered to get out of his Stigloo where he was feasting on the last polar bear that tried to mate with him.

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tom May 11, 2015 at 8:56 am

Some say he once molested a bear by spiritually penetrating its soul, and his computer keyboard has only three key on it.

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Dr. Squidward May 10, 2015 at 1:30 pm

Some say that his birth certificate is a apology letter from the petrol factory and he stores all of his cars in the BBC parking garage. All we know is, he is called The Stig!

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Dr. Squidward May 9, 2015 at 6:45 pm

Some say that his favorite soap opera is The Wacky Adventures of Ronald McDonald, and his eyeballs are made of the concrete from the 1920’s version of Brandon Stadium. All we know is, he is called The Stig!

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Dr. Squidward May 9, 2015 at 6:35 pm

Some say his favorite type of bee is the onion, and that he does not commit suicide because he claims “it’s not kosher”. Others say he thinks ISIS is a driving school, and that his gentleman sausage can sing 56 different types of songs.

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Dr. Squidward May 9, 2015 at 12:23 am

Some say he invented atheism and his nose is a trombone. Others say his boogers taste like macaroni and cheese. All we know is, he is called The Stig!

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Dr. Squidward May 9, 2015 at 12:17 am

Some say he’s the reason why Anna tells Elsa if she wants to build a
snowman and that he was a result of Jet Jaguar’s mating call, of which
Daft Punk responded. All we know is, he is called The Stig!

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Dr. Squidward May 9, 2015 at 12:15 am

Some say he’s the reason why Anna tells Elsa if she wants to build a snowman and that he was a result of Jet Jaguar’s mating call, of which Daft Punk responded.

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stiggydiggyy May 8, 2015 at 3:42 am

Some say he is a anthro tramp dog under his helmet. And that he invented limited internet connection. All we know is, he’s called The Stig!

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Bryan A May 4, 2015 at 8:25 pm

Some say he does not eat animal crackers because he is vegetarian; and hes cooler than a polar bears toe nail. All we know is, he is called the stig

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Mathias Uncertain April 4, 2015 at 9:27 pm

Self censored.

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Tebza77 March 26, 2015 at 3:08 pm

Some say that to this day he believes he was named after an extinct bird and that his insides are an actual V8 Engine!

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Tebza77 March 26, 2015 at 2:50 pm

Some say that he is frightened at the sight of the Alphabet, and that when massaged his pulse does not exist!

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Tebza77 March 26, 2015 at 2:15 pm

Some say that in a rally race he employs his own shadow to read out pace notes, and to celebrate a win he drives the entire rally course in reverse!, all we know is, he’s called the Stig!

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Tebza77 March 26, 2015 at 1:28 pm

Some say that at the end of every race, he KO’s the man waving the checkered flag as he believes the flag should be entirely white!, All we know is, he’s called the Stig!

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Tebza77 March 26, 2015 at 12:19 pm

Some say that while cornering he beeps like a digital camera during autofocus and that with the knowledge of all of America’s Nuclear Launch Codes, he will soon be joining Al-Qaeda,, all we know is, he’s called the Stig!

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Rosin March 20, 2015 at 7:25 pm

Some say that if he misses his regularly scheduled maintenance, he starts beeping; and that he has no opinion whatsoever on matters concerning beans. All we know is he’s called The Stig.

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Rosin March 20, 2015 at 7:17 pm

Some say that he can write and speak bar codes fluently, and that he thinks Obama is a Pokemon. All we know is he’s called The Stig.

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the guy with no name May 12, 2015 at 6:08 pm

Maybe he really is James May and ‘Captain Slow’ has simply been thought up to avert people’s attention from reality.

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Rosin March 20, 2015 at 7:13 pm

Some say that he is metric, and that he doesn’t show up if you try to photocopy his face. All we know is he’s called The Stig.

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Adrian Bose March 20, 2015 at 3:28 pm

Some say,he’s unsure whether he loves or hates Marmite and that his name backwards,describes BBC bosses?? All we know is,he’s called the Stig!

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Needles March 14, 2015 at 12:52 am

some say, he punched his producer in the face, for not feeding him enough red meat… all we know is, he’s called the clarkson!

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K8 March 11, 2015 at 7:01 pm

Some say that he has male pattern hairness, and that he is three years older than his father. All we we know is that he is the stig

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Tommy March 9, 2015 at 8:29 pm

Some say he got two brothers who are in to music (Draft Punk), and he has never seen a ocean. all we know is, he´s called The Stig

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Ethan D. Whyte March 3, 2015 at 6:54 pm

Some say, He SECRETLY owns 10 Bugatti Veyrons, a MANSION, and TV’s, all showing Top Gear, in EVERY ROOM… all we know is, He’s called the STIG.

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Ethan D. Whyte March 3, 2015 at 6:52 pm

Some say he drives in his sleep, while he gracefully dreams… all we know is, HE’S CALLED THE STIG!!!

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Ethan D. Whyte March 3, 2015 at 6:50 pm

Some say he never wears underwear… He’s called the Stig

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JeremysPubeHair February 28, 2015 at 12:18 pm

Some say he built Stonehenge,
And that once at dinner with his girlfriend’s parents he served carbon fiber, for dessert.

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joojojojohan February 24, 2015 at 2:27 pm

Some say hes afraid of his mirror image and hes known to breath nitro gas. All we know is he is called The Stig!

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ZenOfLogic February 24, 2015 at 4:38 am

Some say he wears a helmet under his helmet, and that, if one listen carefully, can hear him howling during a full moon. All we know is, he’s called the Stig!

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EpicPoptart February 22, 2015 at 6:31 am

Some say he won all World Wars, and he has a fear of automatic flush toilets. All we know is , he is called The Stig!

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Jolly Stig February 20, 2015 at 4:26 am

Some say he brings popcorn into movie theater though it is forbidden; and when the movie is showing a sad scene, tears drop from his helmet. All we know is he called the Stig..

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Danni ananta February 18, 2015 at 10:57 am

Some say he only drink petrol. And his fart sounds like mclarren p1. All we know is, he is called The Stig!

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Lochmogh February 11, 2015 at 2:30 pm

Some say that Chuck Norris is scared of him, All we know is, he is called The Stig!

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Daniel Dos February 11, 2015 at 3:30 am

Some say that he once kicked the president and that he is allergic to moths

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YOUR MOTHER. February 6, 2015 at 7:49 pm

Some say that his favorite political drama is Pingu, and he conducts electricity on Swiss railroads. All we know is, he’s called the Stig!

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Matt Smith's love child February 6, 2015 at 1:30 pm

Some say, he stalks Matt Smith every second night, and that he holds parties with katy Perry the 32th of July. all we know is, he’s called The Stig!

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Shawn February 5, 2015 at 5:15 am

Some say that he goes 0 to 60 in 3.25 seconds and that he was the inspiration for the car all we know is he is called the Stig

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Master Derp February 1, 2015 at 9:33 pm

Some say his favourite pass-time is siphoning whiskey from the RIver Nile and that he is confused with the political views that Russell Brand’s armpits discuss. All we know is; he’s called the Stig!

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The Stig's Antarctic Cousin January 29, 2015 at 1:30 am

Some say he’s afraid of CNN, and that when he was going to host the Oscars, but the producers decided that he was too entertaining. All we know is, he’s called the Stig!

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The Stig's Antarctic Cousin January 29, 2015 at 1:22 am

Some say he is fluent binary code, and that he was banned from all movie theaters because he talks too much. All we know is, he’s called the Stig!

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Sean McKellar January 29, 2015 at 1:25 am

The movie theater part was clever!

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The Stig's Antarctic Cousin January 29, 2015 at 1:16 am

Some say his genitals are made of plutonium, and that he is actually related to Daft Punk. All we know is, he’s called the Stig!

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Brandon January 13, 2015 at 2:35 pm

Some say he is baffled by hand dryers; and if he was leading the Bathurst 1000, he would actually listen to his chief engineer, AND SAVE FUEL! All we know is, he’s called The Stig!

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dave January 11, 2015 at 8:25 pm

Some say that his body is made of pixels, and that he is NOT machine washable.

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dave January 11, 2015 at 8:23 pm

Some say that he actually does have two left feet, and that honey badgers cower in fear in his presence.

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dave January 11, 2015 at 8:21 pm

Some say that his tag cannot be removed under penalty of the law and that he uses his credit card to live on borrowed time.

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Albert Einstein January 8, 2015 at 7:51 pm

Some say he invented the theory of relativity, and that he likes to stick out his tongue. All we know, he is called the Stig!

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Andrew January 3, 2015 at 8:48 pm

Some say that he once jumped 5 millimetres, and that he time travelled to when Hitler was let out of prison to step on an ant. The Stig!

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Andrew January 3, 2015 at 8:39 pm

Some say he was a result of Hitler’s mating call, of which Ronald McDonald responded. His favourite pass time is delivering windproof lighters to elephants. All we know is that he excretes out of his penis, The Stig!

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Matt Smith's love child February 6, 2015 at 1:28 pm

You are my hero.

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gmail December 21, 2014 at 7:26 pm

some say he only eats fish or that he has a long lost cousin called the Stig 2 all we know is he’s called the Stig!

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jkatz November 22, 2014 at 2:48 am

Some say the last time they saw eat was when he was having lunch with the Queen, and that he showed up 3 hours late thinking he was at home. All we know is, he is called Sir Stig.

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ghendy October 28, 2014 at 3:23 pm

Some say that his steering wheel is laced with Habanero pepper juice, and that when he flushes a toilet, the water neither rotates clockwise nor counterclockwise. All we know is, he is called The Stig!

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b October 26, 2014 at 2:20 am

some say if you take off his hemet he’s headless. and if you rip all of his clothes off he’s prepared. all we know is HE’S CALLED THE STIG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Nelo October 24, 2014 at 10:15 am

Some say he taught Big Foot how to fetch and roll over, and that he was once bitten by a zombie… and it then turned into David Cameron. All we know is he’s called The Stig!

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The Stig October 4, 2014 at 3:37 pm

Some say that he has kids made of his left eardrum, and that when he go’s to the beach he has a strange impulse to talk to seagulls. ALL WE KNOW IS HE’S CALLED THE STIG!

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sagup October 2, 2014 at 9:04 pm

Some say he’s got two abortions done, and that the doctors advised him to stop whacking off. All we know that he’s called the Stig.

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MasterDj September 20, 2014 at 9:09 pm

Some say that he pays his bills with monopoly money, and his nose is inflatable, all we know he’s called the stig !

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Superstig September 18, 2014 at 5:02 pm

Some Say That hi has is own tv-show and his helmet is explosive… All we know hi is called stigy

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IvIUI2D3I2 September 4, 2014 at 6:41 am

Some say that the hemispheres of his brain are divided into Driver’s Side and Passenger’s Side; and that once he’s made up his mind, he should’ve turned left at Albuquerque. All we know is, he is called The Stig!

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IvIUI2D3I2 September 4, 2014 at 6:19 am

Some say his rev limiter goes to ELEVEN; and that to him the term is known as “The slow of light”. All we know is, he is called The Stig!

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IvIUI2D3I2 September 4, 2014 at 6:14 am

Some say his digestive sounds stop orphans from crying; and if his New Years resolution was to not drink any more, he wouldn’t drink any less either. All we know is, he is called The Stig!

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IvIUI2D3I2 September 4, 2014 at 6:04 am

Some say the names of his testes are “Fat Man” and “Little Boy”; and that where he’s going, he doesn’t need roads. All we know is, he is called The Stig!

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IvIUI2D3I2 September 4, 2014 at 6:01 am

Some say he sells cans of evaporated water to Californians; and that any pictures of him without his helmet cannot be hacked from the iCloud. All we know is, he is called The Stig!

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IvIUI2D3I2 September 4, 2014 at 5:56 am

Some say if he changes the spare tire of your German Auto, you will drive away with normal lugs; and that once he goes black, he doesn’t go black. All we know is, he is called The Stig!

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IvIUI2D3I2 September 4, 2014 at 5:36 am

Some say he can make the Kessel Run in 11 Parsecs, and that he once had a lazy eye until he drove a Prius. All we know is, he is called The Stig!

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IvIUI2D3I2 September 4, 2014 at 5:30 am

Some say he has a full body tattoo of himself, only taller; and that his tracksuit size is medium rare. All we know is, he is called The Stig!

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Tebza77 March 26, 2015 at 12:55 pm

Some say that he doesn’t understand the function of a magnifying glass, and that his pet Chameleons body turns all white as it has a helmet identical to his own!…. All we know is, he’s called the Stig!

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Mike September 3, 2014 at 3:20 am

Some say that he writes all of Taylor Swift’s songs, and that in the year 2007 he was considered “Best Dressed” on the Red Carpet. All we know is, he’s called The Stig.

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Mike September 3, 2014 at 3:13 am

Some say that, during his short time in New York City, he strangled a pigeon to death for eating a piece of bread that he dropped on the ground, and that he is mysteriously drawn to all citrus fruits, except the lime. All we know is, he’s called The Stig.

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Mike September 3, 2014 at 3:07 am

Some say that he is, in fact, Friends with the monster that’s under his bed, and that monster is Rubens Barrichello. All we know is, he’s called The Stig.

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The Stig's Japanese cousin September 1, 2014 at 1:43 pm

Some say police officers aren’t allowed within a hundred and one yards of him as of last week. Because he’s been to prison too many times, and he’s convinced police officers are edible. Others say he’s convinced Walt Disney is buried under the cool wall. All we know is he’s called Walt Stig-sney!

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The Stig October 4, 2014 at 3:41 pm

Thats a good one!

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The Stig's Japanese cousin September 1, 2014 at 1:40 pm

Some say he does not know what the Bergerak is. And he once ate a police officer. All we know is he hates Margaret Beckett, and he’s called the Stig.

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The Stig's Japanese cousin September 1, 2014 at 1:37 pm

Some say he carjacked the Power Foward monster truck owned by future NBA-hall of famer Karl Malone and it’s sitting in his garage. Others say he once drove in Formula One, and his Lady Marmalade sponsored car was often marred by horrible crashes, such as one at a Formula One race at Daytona which resulted in him having a pair of soiled pants. All we know is he’s called the Stig.

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Shakur August 26, 2014 at 6:32 pm

Some say that when his about to sleep he crawls up into his helmet like a tortise and that when he removes his helmet people can see what his thinking…his called the stig

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The Stig's Japanese cousin August 26, 2014 at 4:57 pm

Some say that that he raced the Grave Digger monster truck at a Nitro Jam show that occurred on a rainy day using only his hands, and a milk crate. And won. Others say he can escape everything in the world, using only his hands and a milk crate.

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HamShanky August 26, 2014 at 2:00 am

Some say that he once slipped on an orange peel, some say that he ate a porcelain mug, without any tea! All we know is, he’s called the Stig!

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The Stig's Japanese cousin August 25, 2014 at 5:39 pm

Some say he sued the American Legacy Foundation for using a image of him smashing a candy cigarette into the area where his mouth is covered by his helmet in one of their TheTruth.com ads. And that he hates all anti-tobacco stuff in the world. All we know that I’m a unpaid tobacco spokesperson, and he’s called the Stig.

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The Stig's Japanese cousin August 21, 2014 at 4:56 pm

Some say that he was a female in the past and was called Helen Keller. And that he had the first sex change, LASIK, and un-deafining operation, because he (or she) didn’t like he (or she)’s life.

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The Stig's Japanese cousin August 21, 2014 at 4:32 pm

Some say he is the only person in the entire world to watch The Ring and live to tell the tale. And that he successfully sued the Japanese because everytime he went into the water, they harpooned him and took him back to Japan to sell his blubber. All we know is that i’m going to keel over and die in 7 days, and he’s called the Stig!

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The Stig's Japanese cousin August 16, 2014 at 10:09 pm

Some say he arrives behind a corner in a Toyota Starlet that’s sliding on gravel and that he has a bottle of Finland vodka on his pocket. All we know that he’s not the Stig! He’s the Stig’s Finnish cousin!

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The Stig's Japanese cousin August 16, 2014 at 10:07 pm

Some say he was employed by my good friend David Cameron to shoot motorists on the M1 who drive too slowly. And that his gentlemen sausage, is a AK-47. HE’S NOT THE STIG. He’s the Stig’s sniper cousin.

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The Stig's Japanese cousin August 15, 2014 at 1:32 am

We can’t drive these cars because of our Werecollie forms’ feet. But we now a man who can! He’s not the Stig’s Werewolf cousin. He’s just the Stig.

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The Stig's Japanese cousin August 15, 2014 at 1:29 am

Some say he recently gained a liking for pickled onion Monster Munch due to a temporary mishap with a spellbook. And that his best friends are a rubber duck, two Werecollies named Laurie and Sims, and a model of the DCU Center. He’s not the Stig. But he is the Stig’s Scottish cousin!

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The Stig's Japanese cousin August 11, 2014 at 6:35 pm

Some say he once murdered hackers for the FBI, and that even as we speak he is co-hosting a Dutch TV show on Roblox hackers such as Nomnomnom1. All we know is, he’s not the Stig. But is the Stig’s sniper cousin!

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StanDando August 10, 2014 at 7:28 pm

Some say:

As a Jedi he once had an apprentice called Boris Becker

And

that he provokes dogs to think calmly about existentialism

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StanDando August 10, 2014 at 7:16 pm

Some say:

That he only drinks from cupholders.

And his favorite number of cyllinders is the square root of Boobless

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StanDando August 10, 2014 at 7:05 pm

Some say: He refuses to acknowledge the sovereignty of Bangladesh. And that after all the lost years, he has vowed never to touch another glass of milk.

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StanDando August 10, 2014 at 7:02 pm

Some Say he is the recipient of the most meaningful look from anyone issuing a fishing license. And that his religion forbids him to turn Left in Basingstoke.

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The Stig's Japanese cousin August 9, 2014 at 11:32 pm

Some say that his house is a restored WWII bunker in the middle of a quarry near West Kington. And that his favorite Thunder Nationals venue, is the Top Gear Test Track. All we know is he’s called the Stig!

Some say that he’s convinced Mr. Jaws is a documentary. And that he was raised by a can of hash. All we know is he’s called the Stig!

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Husaam August 9, 2014 at 9:38 pm

Some say that his Youtube account was banned because he uploaded the same video 93 times and that he once cut of Zlatan Ibrahimovchs hair while he was sleeping at his house… All we know is that he’s called the stig!

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Husaam August 9, 2014 at 9:32 pm

Some say he can hold his breath for exactly 3.142 minutes and that he has a secret button in his shoe that could make gravity stop working… All we know is that he’s called the stig!

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Husaam August 9, 2014 at 9:27 pm

Some say his skin has the ability to change colour according to his emotions and that many have tried to make Stig clones but have never found the secret ingredient… All we know is that he’s called the stig!

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Husaam August 9, 2014 at 9:17 pm

Some say he once made love to a chicken and that he is now a retired Santa Claus… All we know is that he’s called the stig!

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Husaam August 9, 2014 at 9:15 pm

Some say that he has fitted all his cars to run on urine and that once he broke a dogs nose because it said he looked like a spoon… All we know is that he’s called the stig!

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Husaam August 9, 2014 at 9:12 pm

Some say that his birthday is on the 29th of Febuary and that he got a sex change 6 times… All we know is that he’s called the stig

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Husaam August 9, 2014 at 9:08 pm

Some say that he has a house in the middle of the Bermuda Triangle and that he has an Iron Man suit underneath his racing gear… All we know is that he’s called the stig!

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The Stig's Japanese cousin August 8, 2014 at 7:04 pm

Some say his favorite pastime is to chase people wearing alien prosthetic make-up through a quarry, pretending it’s the planet Stigtoenialqygeyiu. And that he thinks Creepypasta is a children’s picture book series. All we know is he’s called the Stig.

Some say he revived his Vegetarian cousin so that he could buy a smart car, and that he car-jacked Kyle Busch’s 2010 “kittens, bunnies and little baby seals” race car and sold it to a Little Chef adorned with flowers, stars, butterflies and rainbow stripes, among other girly logos. And of course, the face of a kitten. All we know is, HE’S CALLED THE STIG!

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The Stig's Japanese cousin August 8, 2014 at 6:54 pm

Some say he took all week staring at a stop sign and waiting for it to say go. And that he rebuilt the Rover James to use it to get out of speeding tickets. All we know is he’s called the Stig!

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The Stig's Japanese cousin August 8, 2014 at 6:51 pm

Some say that his favorite disease he had when he was a child, was fibrodysplasia ossificans progressiva. And that the reason he wears a helmet is that his head got run over by the Texas Toy monster truck while Leslie Anderson was vacationing in Europe, on a Dutch beach. All we know is he’s called the Stig!

Reply
StrikerEureka55 August 4, 2014 at 6:50 am

Some say he was born on Crypton and his brother is Clark Kent aka Superman. All we know is he’s called SuperStig!

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StrikerEureka55 August 4, 2014 at 6:49 am

Some say he never knew there was a show called Top Gear and when he found out he was a star in it, he didn’t talk to Justin Bieber for months. All we know is he’s called the Stig.

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StrikerEureka55 August 4, 2014 at 6:45 am

Some say he can hear your thoughts before you sneeze and when he’s lost in the country he would ask a farmer’s cow for directions. All we know is he’s called the srig!

Reply
Junior Raymond August 1, 2014 at 1:01 pm

Some say that his father is Darth Vader. And that he got rejected from the Olympics because no 1 knew what nation anthem to play. All we know is, he’s called the STIG.

Reply
J July 31, 2014 at 4:52 pm

Some say that he owns a strip club in Mongolia
and that his nose is on backwards. All we know is he’s called the stig

Some say that he is the world champion at bagpipes and that
his vomit is multicoloured. All we know is he is called the stig.

Reply
Adam Brown July 31, 2014 at 9:25 am

Some say that he is a proffesional chicken trainer, and that he thinks flowers are out to get gim. All we know is he is called the stig.

some say that he can communicate with bee’s and that his helmet is on backwards but painted to look right. All we know is he is called the stig

some say he is flame retardant and that he thinks the ocean is a myth. All we know is he is called the stig.

some say his house is made of cake, and that he can make rainbow snow with his urine. All we know is he is called the stig

Reply
James July 24, 2014 at 10:22 am

Some say that his feet are detachable pedals and that his hands are capable of attaching themselves to cars…and ducks and is held up by FRIC Suspension and that to drive a vehicle is turned of and drives like a Lotus that actually does what it is supposed to. All we know is he’s called “The Stig!”

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James July 24, 2014 at 10:01 am

Some say that he recorded a record of him reciting his birth certificate information and that at full volume, is deafening silence. All we know s he’s called “The Sitg!”

Some say that his pillow is made of the concrete from the old Hockenheimring. All we know is he’s called “The Sitg!

Some say that he has no knowledge of himself. And that when asked about The Stig he replies “Who’s that?” All we know is he’s called “The Stig!”

Reply
Marsidotes July 18, 2014 at 12:02 am

Some say that he has a secret identity as Jor El, and that he claims to have invented the colour white. All we know is he’s called “The Stig”!

Reply
GiromCalica July 17, 2014 at 11:27 pm

Some say his armpits have enough Karmic energy to open a portal to Gensokyo, and sleeps between himself. All we know is he’s called “The Stig”.

Reply
James May July 10, 2014 at 6:25 am

Some say his urine is melted gold and others say he’s an oversized action figure. All we know is that he’s called the Stig!

Reply
김민석 July 10, 2014 at 6:18 am

Some say he thinks he drives a bugatti veron … when its actually a second hand mini cooper amd thinks he can fly. All we know is that hes called the stig

Reply
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Reply
The Stig March 12, 2017 at 3:31 am

STFU.

Reply
Jordan June 23, 2014 at 5:42 pm

Some say that he urinates petrol and he sleeps not under covers in his bed, put under the hood of his car. All we know is he’s called the stig!

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Jordan June 23, 2014 at 3:14 am

Some say he’s Michael Schumacher… All we know he’s called the stig,

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Jordan June 23, 2014 at 3:10 am

Some say that when he visited the queen, he convinced her to give him a fist bump. Others say that he’s won a drag race in a VW polo. All we know is that he’s called the stig

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Jordan June 23, 2014 at 3:09 am

Some say that when he visited the queen, he convinced her to give him a fist bump. Others say that he’s won a drag race in a VW polo. All we know is that he’s called the stig!

Reply
Zee June 22, 2014 at 11:27 pm

Some say he’s a black Zimbabwean and that he spends a third of his day learning to become an Air Traffic Controller. All we know he’s called The Stig

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Mudders June 12, 2014 at 11:29 am

some say…he can digest a brick in 14.8 secs and that given the chance would indeed win a staring contest with a stuffed elk

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J.T. May 28, 2014 at 11:15 pm

Some say that he knew “Kal-El” back on the old planet…before the accident…and that his gentleman’s sausage speaks six different languages! All we know is he’s called “The Stig!”

Reply
Elliot May 21, 2014 at 11:44 am

Some say that he thrives on effluent from steel mills, and that in Ukraine, there is a language spoken in his honour.

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Alan Purr May 20, 2014 at 12:23 pm

Some say that he drinks his own Bath Water! and that he once told his Doctor “for all the good these suppositories are you might as well stick them up your A…”

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Rik May 6, 2014 at 7:32 pm

Some say he called his mother ‘the stigma’. All we know is, we call him The Stig!

Reply
amir May 6, 2014 at 4:36 pm

some say his name was hitler in the past & he cried for weeks after he ordered for the Jews to be eradicated.

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amir May 6, 2014 at 4:33 pm

some say his name was hitler in the past & he cried for weeks after he ordered for the Jews to be eliminated.

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Lukes April 24, 2014 at 2:20 pm

Some say Chuck Norris asked him for driving lessons…and He said No. All we know He is called The Stig

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jason April 22, 2014 at 1:56 pm

some say, thet he doesnt even have his own car and that he only eats kitten tails. all we know is, he’s called the stig.

Reply
Anderson April 21, 2014 at 10:00 pm

Some say, he he found a needle in a haystack, in three seconds, and that he fought a bear, and empregnated it. All we know is, he’s called the Stig.

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Billy April 21, 2014 at 4:44 pm

Some say his helmet is the reason the Titanic has a big hole in its side,,and that he jacked the lunar rover, and its sitting in his backyard,,,all we know is, he’s called the STIG

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J.T. April 18, 2014 at 1:55 pm

This one is for Jeremy and all of the other non-motorcycle riders in the World. Some say, that the only reason he can see to be on two wheels, is because he entered a corner too hot…and that he sees no reason to put an engine between his legs, because he has a BMW 1.2 liter there already! All we know is he’s called The Stig!

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J.T. April 18, 2014 at 1:17 pm

Some say…that he is under contract with several F-1 teams, to provide them with his urine, which is 100% Castrol GTX…And that his favorite deodorant is a Little-Tree air freshener…All we know is he’s called The Stig!

Reply
Richard Lemon April 18, 2014 at 12:54 pm

Some say he doesn’t know cars but he is driving it. All we know is he’s called a dumbass that ride a car

Reply
RollTider April 17, 2014 at 2:12 pm

Some say that he was the worlds largest supplier of pennies, and area 51 is the secret concentration camp for the rest of his species

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RollTider April 17, 2014 at 2:06 pm

Some say that he has the worlds largest collection of toe nails that he has harvested off his bee hive, and that he speaks igbo.

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RollTider April 17, 2014 at 1:58 pm

Some say that due to the recent rivalry between Ps4 and X-box one, he has bought his first gameboy, and that the advice he gave to Siddhartha Buddha caused him to reach enlightenment

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Aidan Eloff April 1, 2014 at 10:30 pm

Some say that he once went to a psycic, to warn her and that the only words he had ever spoken was:”Chuck, I’m your father”. All we know is he’s called the Stig!

Reply
Aidan Eloff April 1, 2014 at 11:10 am

Some say that he starts up quicker when presented strong pornography, and that he is used in scheduled nuclear reactor maintanance. All we know is he’s called the stig!

Reply
Kiepoo March 29, 2014 at 1:58 am

Some say that his helmet is actually his hair, and that he has both sex organs, all we know is he’s called the stig.

Reply
WinkzWankz March 28, 2014 at 8:14 am

I read and felt that it was useful.

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RollTider March 19, 2014 at 1:27 pm

Some say that he has no apparent conception of ice, and that he doesnt see the use in owning a spoon.

Reply
RollTider March 19, 2014 at 1:16 pm

Some say that he invented the modern baseball hat to keep his feet dry, and that he sells cookies to raise money for baby chimps with pnemonia.

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RollTider March 19, 2014 at 1:09 pm

Some say that his matress is made of cinderblocks, and that he googled “how to google somthing”.

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RollTider March 19, 2014 at 1:03 pm

Some say that if he crashed his car, it would be Putin’s fault, and that Jeremy gets his quotes from topgearbox.com

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RollTider March 13, 2014 at 2:16 pm

Some say that he invented corduroy stockings, and that doesnt know what australians are for.

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RollTider March 13, 2014 at 1:48 pm

Some say that his bathroom is transparent, and that he loves the smell of 5 o’clock.

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RollTider March 13, 2014 at 1:23 pm

Some say that he was surprised to find sir edmond hilary in his dining room on mt. everest, and that his pet is a lawn mower.

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RollTider March 13, 2014 at 1:18 pm

Some say that his american cousin is Iron Man, and that he is naked under his suit.

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RollTider March 13, 2014 at 1:15 pm

Some say that his favorite hobby is puting the heads of shrimp back on, and that his accountant is Donald Trump.

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RollTider March 13, 2014 at 1:12 pm

Some say that his car’s interior is made of sperm whale foreskin, and that his actual name is Tupac.

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RollTider March 13, 2014 at 1:08 pm

Some say that he is the least excitable man alive, and that if he met ‘The most interesting man in the world’ they would cause a black hole due to their awsomeness.

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RollTider March 13, 2014 at 1:04 pm

Some say that he reads books inside out, and that when he stumps his toe an actual atomic bomb is detonated.

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RollTider March 13, 2014 at 1:02 pm

Some say that he doesnt know what the back of his hand looks like, and that he doesnt use the bathroom like the rest of us

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RollTider March 11, 2014 at 6:15 pm

Some say that he took a bite out of apple’s apple, and that he has a bad habit of cussing out lawn knomes because they dont come with a pot of gold like leprechauns.

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RollTider March 11, 2014 at 6:10 pm

Some say that he bought the entire worlds supply of earthworms for his new home planet on pluto, and that he caused the Chernobyl accedent by successfully eating soup with chop sticks.

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RollTider March 11, 2014 at 6:03 pm

Some say that he sold James May’s Dacia Sandero for a Klondike Bar, and that he named his son Jenifer in honor of Jeremy Clarkson.

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RollTider March 11, 2014 at 5:28 pm

Some say that his hearing aid is from a light switch, and that under his helmet he has a massive afro.

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RollTider March 11, 2014 at 5:25 pm

Some say that the old stig died because he took medicine with too many side effects, and that he will make a special guest apperence at the Rio olympics, in a gay brothel.

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RollTider March 11, 2014 at 5:20 pm

Some say that if he punched Chuck Norris, that Chuck Norris would punch back, and that as a child he suffered severe head trauma because he was a bowling pin.

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RollTider March 11, 2014 at 5:13 pm

Some say that if he tried to breath in space, he would die, and that he was the dad from “the little old lady who lived in a shoe”

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RollTider March 11, 2014 at 5:05 pm

Some say that he wipes his bottom with ceiling tiles, and he is powered by blue meth.

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RollTider March 11, 2014 at 5:02 pm

Some say that he voted against Kim Jong Un and for
Elvis Presley.

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RollTider March 11, 2014 at 4:56 pm

Some say that he came before the chicken, and that he gave his father “The Talk”.

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Go Go Gadget March 4, 2014 at 11:03 am

SOME SAY THAT HE DRIVE ASLEEP AROUND THE TRACK OR ELSE HED FINISH IT BEFORE TIME COULD CATCH UP AND HE IS SECRETLY CHUCK NORRIS ALL WE KNOW IS WELL…NOTHING

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Go Go Gadget March 4, 2014 at 11:01 am

SOME SAY HE CHANGED THE ENGLISH CHANNEL AND HIS FIRST THREESOME WAS WITH A SMART FORTWO AND A TOYOTA PRIUS ALL WE KNOW IS HE IS JAMES MAY’S FATHER

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ENZO FERRARI March 4, 2014 at 11:04 am

TO WHAT CHANNEL

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Go Go Gadget March 4, 2014 at 11:05 am

TOPGEAR

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Michael February 26, 2014 at 2:37 am

Some say he leaves tyre tracks when walking barefoot and that his race suit is lined with lead to shield us from his radiation – all we know is he’s called The Stig.

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uday February 24, 2014 at 9:44 am

Some say, he had a threesum in bangkok, and that he sleeps with his pet who is a snake, all we know is, he’s called the STIG!!

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Billy February 18, 2014 at 6:33 pm

Some say, he once walked from the UK to France, on the roof of the Chunnel,,,,and that he is the love child of the Queen, and Nigel Mansell, all we know is, he’s called the S T I G ! ! !

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J.T. February 15, 2014 at 12:22 am

Some say, that his circumcision was performed with pinking shears, so that he would have a built in ‘French Tickler,’ and that he can communicate with dolphins just by waving his hand…All we know is that he’s called THE STIG.

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Shawn January 30, 2014 at 9:54 pm

Some say he sweats pheromones only super models can smell, and he moonlights as a busker in Paddington Station. All we know is that he’s called THE STIG!

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Toby Bo January 29, 2014 at 8:58 am

Some say he uses throat pastilles just in case he wants to speak and sleeps rough in a safari park.All we know is he’s called the Stig.

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jason de jesuz January 27, 2014 at 6:19 pm

Some say that his third leg is so big, he can control the brake pedal with it.

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Farnsworth January 22, 2014 at 5:24 am

Some say he drinks pure unleaded seal tears and dines on prune skins… All we know is he’s called the stig!

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Billy January 18, 2014 at 5:25 am

Some say he has a 300 dollar a day petrol habit, and that he keeps the queens jewels in his trousers,,, all we know is, he’s called the STIG.

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Billy January 8, 2014 at 4:36 am

Some say he once walked across the English channel, on his hands, and the the high price of petrol, is really funding his croissant habit, all we know is he’s called the STIG

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Billy January 8, 2014 at 4:32 am

Some say, he is really the most interesting man in the world, and that he once carjacked the lunar over, and sold it to a chop shop..all we know is he’s called the STIG.

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Chris Baker January 7, 2014 at 11:40 pm

Some say he insists that Hans Stuck is a legendary vet.

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Mad man fitz January 6, 2014 at 4:06 pm

Some say his pet house is not his and that he is the messiah

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Mad man fitz January 6, 2014 at 4:00 pm

Some say his testicles taste of ketchup and that chuck Norris can’t find him

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Mad man fitz January 6, 2014 at 3:57 pm

Some say Jesus washed his feet, and tat he is confused by rocks

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Mad man fitz January 6, 2014 at 3:54 pm

Some say he was born drinking, and that in a recent race he too was astonded by Santa. All we know is he’s not the stig but the stigs Irish cousin

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naomi nyamweya December 31, 2013 at 12:32 am

some say that he can speak braille and that he once stared at an orange juice box for an hour because on it was the word “concentrate”, all we know is, he’s the stig 🙂

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Luana December 17, 2013 at 3:23 am

Some say in has a portrait of himself holding a portrait of himself holding a portrait of himself…all we know is,he’s called The Stig

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Kathiy December 16, 2013 at 4:38 pm

What does Stig mean or stand for?

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Go Go Gadget March 4, 2014 at 10:55 am

Stig stands for THE STIG

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Billy December 5, 2013 at 5:40 am

Some say, he won a butt flexing contest, by squeezing an pumpkin, and that inside a box of chocolates, he knows exactly what you are gonna get,,all we know is he’s called the STIG.

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Billy December 5, 2013 at 5:35 am

He once paddled across the North Atlantic, in a VW Beetle,,,and he once slept over at Nigel Mansells house, without him knowing,,,all we know is he’s called the STIG.

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ragajajsjna December 5, 2013 at 12:53 am

Some say he is very lucky so he can turn diamond into water and his pet is a wheelchair

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Steve Halmonroyd December 2, 2013 at 7:17 pm

Some say, he tried to divorce john Prescott and that he enters his own house by going down the chimney after seeing some bloke doing it. All we know is he’s called the Stig

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Wang December 1, 2013 at 11:44 pm

Some say he’s bellibutton looks like a jellytot and that he’s favorite car is a blue preas

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Billy November 23, 2013 at 6:19 am

Some say, HE DIDNT THINK HE COULD DANCE EITHER,,,, and that he really is the noise on the opening credits on Law & Order UK,,all we know is, he’s called the S T I G ! ! !

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Billy November 23, 2013 at 6:13 am

Some say he set a record around Nurburging,,,, by doing jumping jacks, and he once beat Michael shumacher in a pinky toe wrestling contest, all we know is, he’s called the STIG!!!

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Bily November 23, 2013 at 6:10 am

Some say, he’s done a burnout on the moon in the lunar rover, and that the Washington Monument in DC is actually a tribute to Bill Clinton, all we know is, he’s called THE STIG!!!

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Billy November 21, 2013 at 5:11 am

Some say, he’s the reason for the partial shutdown of the US Government, and that Obamacare is a secret brainwashing project, all we know is, he’s called The Stig!!!

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Billy November 21, 2013 at 4:55 am

Some say, he voted for Tony the Tiger in the US presidential election, and that he thinks the hokey pokey, is really what its all about, all we know is that he’s called the STIG!!!

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Chich November 12, 2013 at 8:36 pm

Some say that his digestive system is made totally from carbon fibre and that he won the Tour de France 7 times…by walking backward… all we know is, he’s called the stig!!

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Mike November 11, 2013 at 10:48 am

Some say that avocados give him horrific nightmares, and that he uses ghost pepper sauce instead of milk in his cereal, for religious reasons. All we know is, he’s called the stig!

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Mike November 11, 2013 at 9:45 am

Some say that his pinky toe is made of lightweight aluminum, and that owns 46 kittens named Franky, all we know is hes called the stig!

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Mike November 11, 2013 at 9:36 am

Some say that his blood consists of 75% petrol, and that the seat covers in his car are made of strawberry frosting. All we know is, he’s called the stig!

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Ryan November 8, 2013 at 1:17 am

Some say he has won the lottery without buying a ticket, and that he can win a marathon … while walking. All we know is, he’s called the Stig.

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Dwayne November 6, 2013 at 8:28 am

Some say that he can only count to 7 and that he secretly eats cheese just before he goes to bed. All we know is, he’s called the Stig

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Shazoom October 19, 2013 at 8:50 pm

Some say that he is the real slim shady and that he can play every instrument except the flute. All we know is, he’s called the Stig

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Stephen October 15, 2013 at 6:18 pm

Some say that he once tried to purchase a royal mail post box with stamps and that just recently he tried to shoplift a shop. All we know is he’s called the STIG

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naail September 30, 2013 at 1:21 am

some say he thinks star wars is a documentary. some say he thinks gastrol gtx is coffee, all we know is he is the stig

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john September 29, 2013 at 12:55 am

Some say that he takes nine 6 volt lantern batteries, and you plug them into his buttocks and that if he were to visit Australia, he would walk upside-down on his hands. All we know is he’s called the Stig.

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Billy Bertsch September 25, 2013 at 4:29 am

Some say that he keeps food in his bank account, and that he was born 37 years in the future. All we know is, he’s called the Stig!

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Noah March 10, 2014 at 3:58 am

Good one!

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mzokhona September 13, 2013 at 7:04 am

some say once he have a son he will name him crankshaft other say every midnight he became eartworm

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Denzel Holness September 11, 2013 at 12:55 pm

some say he is faster than Usain Bolt, and that he actually wears his suit backwards. all we know is, he’s called The Stig!

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Greg Foster April 12, 2014 at 8:26 pm

nice one bro

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Jill Wilkins April 12, 2014 at 8:34 pm

haha I like this one!

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Sadako August 27, 2013 at 10:54 am

Some say that he operates on a 27 hour day, and if you watch him on film, sometimes he looks like he’s spinning backwards. All we know is, he’s called The Stig!

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Sir Robert August 22, 2013 at 12:57 pm

Some say his saliva contains axle grease and horse milk and that the hammerhead is actually named after his mum

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Sir Robert August 22, 2013 at 12:51 pm

Some say his eyelids are elastic and that he once shaved his legs as a right of passage into the boyscouts

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Some1 August 20, 2013 at 8:47 am

@topgearbox where are the some say quotes for top gear series 20!!!

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Yeet My Meat April 14, 2019 at 11:09 pm

Some say that his blood is 76% sulfuric acid and that his smell attracts hedgehogs. All we know is he’s called the Stig

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Kyle August 19, 2013 at 6:49 am

Some say he drinks butter to repel badgers and he once got into a fist fight with his mum and lost. All we know is he’s called The Stig…

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Kyle August 19, 2013 at 6:41 am

Some say he has no belly button and that he stays crunchy in milk. All we know is he called The Stig…

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Kyle August 19, 2013 at 6:36 am

Some say he’s never seen the end of a movie and that when he passes gas an angel gets it’s wings. All we know is he’s called The Stig…

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Ivan Pieters August 14, 2013 at 4:37 am

Some say that he likes to have a barbaque under water and that he once stole James May”s shoe laces for political reasons. All we know is, he is called the stig!

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sam August 13, 2013 at 11:08 pm

some say that he eats soup with a fork and that his sweat taste like gun powder. all we know is his called the stig

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sam August 13, 2013 at 11:05 pm

some say that he eats soup with a fork and his sweat tastes like gun powder all we know is that his called the stig

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Jäger Meister August 8, 2013 at 10:41 am

Some say in the event of a water landing he may be used as a flotation device, and he once successfully placed an entire roll of toothpaste back in the tube.
All we know is he’s called the Stig.

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ciric August 7, 2013 at 4:25 am

some say His fingerprints have form of Grand Prix Monaco …all we know is he’s called the Stig

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Steve Sharp August 6, 2013 at 8:25 pm

Some say, he’s tax exempt… and that all of his close friends are Swedish manikins. All we know is, he’s called the STIG

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ciric August 5, 2013 at 6:41 am

some say He was seen riding Indian tiger with Edward Snowden in russian airport …all we know is he’s called the Stig

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Sam Briscoe August 3, 2013 at 10:06 am

Some say that he is illegal in Antarctica, and that he is as survivable as Twinkies and cockroaches, but all we know is that he’s the stig!

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Tony sharpe July 29, 2013 at 7:51 am

Some people say when he sleeps you hear revving and that when that he can enpregnate women with his stare all we know is he’s the stig

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Tony sharpe July 29, 2013 at 7:51 am

Some people say when he sleeps you hear revving and that when that he can enpregnate women with his stare

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Danny Lagan Gonzalez July 26, 2013 at 6:24 am

The above comments were all made by me btw

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Me October 20, 2013 at 4:23 am

Uhhh no they weren’t

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Danny Lagan Gonzalez July 26, 2013 at 6:21 am

Some say he was born on Mars and that he thinks cows are terrorists. All we know is he’s called the stig!

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Antvenom July 26, 2013 at 6:13 am

Some say he thinks that suitcases are Specificlly for smart clothes and that if he tried to be a policeman he wouldn’t understand the arrest statement. All we know is, he’s called the stig!

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Humza Arshad July 26, 2013 at 6:09 am

Some say that he is attracted to milk and that he sees in black and white. All we know is, he’s called the stig!

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Someone Else July 19, 2013 at 4:04 pm

Some say he doesn’t acknowledge his own existence…
And refuses to have an identity because he’s allergic of names…
All we know is he’s called the Stig.

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Fingers Mahoney June 22, 2013 at 1:12 pm

Some say his car’s engine is a Marshall Valvestate S80 guitar amp, others say he enjoys his afternoons off shooting flowers with a blow gun, all we know is he’s called The Stig.

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Lolling June 22, 2013 at 6:59 am

Some say that he watches Disney channel and he kissed David Beckham for 40 hours non stop … On the lips. All we know is he’s called the stig.

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Crossy June 21, 2013 at 3:28 pm

Some say that he reproduces by asexual means and his testicles are made of diamonds, all we know is his is called the Stig

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Nutter June 19, 2013 at 7:12 pm

Some say he was alive at the time of dinosaurs and that it was his helmet which caused them to become extinct. All e know is he’s called the stig

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Badman June 19, 2013 at 7:06 pm

Some say he thinks that the snow is trying to kill him and that he knows every language in the world … including morse code. All we know is he’s called the stig

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Andrew June 17, 2013 at 6:21 am

Some say he can smell fear while others say he is the last thing people see before they die

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Dave June 14, 2013 at 2:53 am

Some say his bones are made of carbon fiber and that when he breathes, he expells the same ingredients in an exaust pipe.

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Hey man June 13, 2013 at 3:02 am

Some say he invented the bunny how and has a tattoo of his face on his face.all we know is he’s called the stig

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nate June 3, 2013 at 6:14 pm

Some say, he was made in China and assembled in Calafonia. and that if he owned Apple, he would make all the phones in the shape of cars. All we know, is he’s called the Stig!

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David February 3, 2014 at 10:48 pm

“Calafonia”? Seriously?

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Lol May 31, 2013 at 7:57 pm

Some say he brainwashed us all so we would forget that we saw his face.others say his name isn’t even the stig. We call him the stig.

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Mohammed May 29, 2013 at 3:56 am

Some say that his IQ is measured in horsepower and that he’s the only person who can find chuck Norris … If he was bothered. All we know is he’s called the stig !

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Andrew November 7, 2013 at 3:34 am

Some say he once impregnated a Ferrari Enzo, which is astonishing considering that that car, was a male, and that he once won a farting competition, by shitting his trousers.

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The stig's Mosotho cousin April 23, 2020 at 12:20 am

Some say he was grown from a seed and that if you give him the thumbs up, he’ll catch fire.

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