Anyone who follows Jeremy Clarkson on Twitter will no doubt be aware of just how much he hates Piers Morgan. But why? And did Jeremy really punch Piers in the face? Well.. kick back with a frosty beverage and read on. This may take a while.
The story begins in 1994, when Piers Morgan graduated with a degree in Journalism from Harlow College. In the time following he worked small-time reporting jobs for local media outlets and lived an otherwise normal life. He was then offered the editor position for The Sun‘s celebrity gossip column, ‘Bizarre’, in which he either did exceedingly well or pathetically badly because this lasted only a matter of months.
Thanks to his influence he caught the eye of Rupert Murdoch, who decided to offer him the position of senior editor for The News of The World, Murdoch’s flagship Sunday newspaper in the UK. After spending a year or so digging into celebrity’s private lives, Piers one day up and decided to leave Murdoch behind and took up a senior editor position at the Daily Mirror. It was here that he would make his name.
In 1996 it was Euro Cup time, and in the UK this is kind of a big thing. They take it quite seriously as a nation, especially when they’ve been lined up to play Germany. So when this happened Piers was obliged to cover the story, or risk not selling a single paper for the rest of the year. “Achtung! Surrender” was on the front page the Mirror the day of the match. Anyone with even a passing knowledge of European politics during the 20th century might be able to piece together what followed. “Shitstorm” just doesn’t quite sum it up and he was forced to apologise to Germany, the UK and FIFA on international television amidst death threats from all over the continent.
A few years passed and Piers pretty much drove the Daily Mirror into the ground. By 2004, it was the last straw. Piers went and authorised the publication of photos fresh from the war in Iraq, which seemed to show British Troops abusing and mistreating Iraqi POWs. Unfortunately for him, and the photos turned out to be fake. He was fired and the paper had to actually run stories on their front pages for about a week offering their most sincere apologies. So Piers found himself out of a job.
Jeremy Clarkson is a fellow journalist who has a column in The Sun – Piers’ old rival newspaper. Starting in the early 2000’s, Piers decided for reasons known only to himself that Clarkson must be up to no good somewhere and damn it he was going to find out. His ‘investigations’ started to bank towards stalking the hapless Yorkshireman, taking pictures of him everywhere he went, waiting outside his house etc. Unsurprisingly this started to piss Clarkson off no end. This led to Clarkson making personal jibes about Piers in his column and on his show, which served only to piss Piers off more. This snowballed on and on until Piers hit the jackpot he’d been waiting for! He’d managed to get some incriminating snaps of Clarkson hitting on his BBC producer, Elaine Bedell. Without further ado, he published them and got Clarkson into a bit of bother at home.
Clarkson was furious, as any of us would have been. Unfortunately for Piers, Clarkson was also attending the British Press Awards that year and the two encountered each other on the floor. Clarkson slowly walked over to Piers and punched him straight in the face, then calmly left. This reportedly left Piers with a scar above his left eye.
In the years following, their tit-for-tat war of words have continued and even spilled on to twitter. Most commonly they duke it out over the others’ show viewer figures – with Jeremy convinced that Piers’ dwindling viewer figures will result in his show being cancelled, and Piers’ maintaining that Top Gear is on the way down too.
This war of words is destined to be one of the world’s longest running wars – akin to a race between two Vauxhall Vectra’s. It’ll go on forever and be incredibly boring to watch. Who do you think will win? We now have the answer!